Op-Ed: When you lose fat, it turns into CO2? New study ends myths

Posted Dec 18, 2014 by Paul Wallis
Yes, folks, you literally breathe out all that fat. That’s the new finding from an Australian study which has basically rewritten the whole theory of weight loss. There’s a catch, of course.
The University of New South Wales (UNSW) has published a remarkably unambiguous, uncompromisingly number crunching, study showing that losing 10 kilograms of fat requires 29 kilograms of oxygen to be inhaled. This metabolic process produces as byproducts 28 kilograms of carbon dioxide and 11 kilograms of water.
Readers will be reassured to know that one of the reasons for this study is that the study's lead author, Ruben Meerman, lost 15 kg and wanted to know where all that mass went.
Meerman studied the subject, then spoke to Professor Andrew Brown, head of the UNSW School of Biotechnology and Biomolecular Sciences. The study was the result.
More surprisingly, if possible, they also discovered that most doctors and dieticians had the wrong idea about where the mass went, too. Fifty percent of them thought that the fat was converted into heat. Others thought that the fat was excreted, or turned into muscle.
The really good news about this study is that the oxidisation process is pretty straightforward. Using oxygen conversion as a method of losing weight is actually a very good idea, and can be measured almost literally to the atomic level. Oxygen conversion is likely to be a far safer and far more easily managed way of losing weight than lunatic diets and starvation will ever be.
It’s only a matter of time until an effective method of losing weight through oxygen conversion is achieved. This process probably won’t be cheap, (oxygen is expensive and can be toxic in some cases) but it will be safe and far less traumatic.
One of the few problems with this study is that it may unintentionally have created an interesting, if unworkable, image of humans as “carbon sinks.” Will people now be able to say that their obesity is a way of fighting global warming? Will unsuspecting citizens be fracked for their carbon deposits? Will people be able to wear carbon conversion technology and lose weight at the same time?