Weird Sex Laws In America: Real Laws On The Books Of Justice

Posted Apr 20, 2008 by Nikki Weingartner
Differences in federal and state laws are nothing new, and legal battles over a state’s liberal laws regarding sexual behavior making news every day. What about those sex laws that just don’t make the headline news?
All across America, sex offenders and rapists aside, men and women meet, they date, they hook up. Some choose to enter into meaningful relationships, possibly marriage. Others opt for the occasional “booty call”. Still others engage in more bizarre means of stimulation, as reported here on Digital Journal.
No matter what one chooses to do in public or behind the privacy of their own doors, they may want to think twice depending upon their geographical local or they might end up with a criminal history.
A Fox Sex Report gave us a “peek” into the love-lives of American men and women from state to state and even some cities within those states who have their own punishable offenses.
Some other states have pretty liberal laws.
-sex toys are banned
-ancient law in Alabama bans men from attempting to seduce "a chaste woman by means of temptation, arts, deception, flattery or a promise of marriage."
perfectly all right for women to go topless in public, since breasts weren’t deemed private parts
illegal for either partner to reach climax before the other during foreplay
forbidding any "private sexual behavior between consenting adults."
-two people cannot commit "unusual acts" together
-illegal to have sexual relations with a porcupine
-it an offense to shower in the nude
sexual intercourse between unmarried couples is illegal
not allowed to engage in any type of public display of affection for more than 18 min.
illegal to have sex on your wedding day if you’re fishing or hunting in Oblong
oral sex is banned
-5 min. time limit to make out
-a man in Ames cannot take more than three swallows of beer while holding his wife in his arms in bed
can’t marry the same man three times in some Kentucky townships
you can streak as long as you can prove to a court beyond a doubt that you had no "lascivious intent."
it’s illegal to smooch for more than 1 sec [yes, 1 second] in Halethorpe
-male drivers in Detroit are banned from “ogling” women
-illegal to serenade your girlfriend in Kalamazoo
sleeping naked is illegal
illegal for men to have intimate sexual relationships with a live fish [although women, its perfectly legal]
men cannot become sexually aroused in public
couples sleeping at a hotel must wear the clean, cotton nightshirt provided by the hotel, even when they have sex
New Mexico:
couples in Carlsbad can have sex in their parked car during their lunch break, as long as the curtains are drawn
if you’re a member of the Nevada legislature, you cannot conduct business, while in session, wearing a penis costume
New York:
-women cannot be seen wearing "body hugging clothing."
-Women can go topless in public, unless it is for "business" reasons
North Carolina:
-it’s an offense to have sex in a graveyard
-If you’re unmarried and you and your lover register yourselves as a "Mr. and Mrs." when checking into a motel, then you’re legally considered husband and wife [bigamy, polygamy, the potential criminal consequences are endless]
anal intercourse is banned in Cincinnati
husbands in Willowdalecan are fined for talking dirty during intercourse, but their wives can say whatever they please
women in Dyersburg cannot call a man for a date
flirting is banned in San Antonio
Washington, D.C.:
sexual positions beyond missionary are illegal
Washington State:
sex with an animal is perfectly legal for men, as long as the animal weighs less than 40 pounds
illegal for a man to fire his gun in Connersville, when his lover reaches climax
sex in a walk-in meat freezer is banned in Newcastle
California, you ROCK! And for those in Minnesota, Washington State and Florida good luck with your private sex lives and keep your PJ’s on while sleeping and showering.