US president Whatsisname has done yet another flip on tariffs with China. According to Whatsisname, tariffs will drop “substantially.” This is “de-escalation” and presumably comes with a voucher for something.
Ah, um, what?
Why?
How?
When?
This tariff gimmick was the big ticket thing to generate revenue, remember? To eliminate personal taxes and save the rich from the poor, right? It had the added appeal that America’s Chosen Ignoramuses didn’t really know what tariffs are or how they work.
This new bit of soothsaying comes just after putting tariffs of 3521% on solar panels from China. It’s a nice heartwarming, rational number, isn’t it? No foaming at the mouth idiocy, just a number.
At a cost of trillions of dollars of real value and a massive hit to the Dow, the Ship of State has been sailing majestically along on this piñata-like policy base.
Readers please note that there are alternative spellings to the word “ship”.
Do NOT sprinkle these alternate spellings on breakfast cereals or job applications.
A slight digression at this point, which may appeal to psychologists:
What in the name of barf in expensive restaurants sort of self-image is this? We’ve gone from 3521% to “de-escalation” in a few days. Even his weight and height are under scrutiny, and nobody knows what they’re looking at.
When did negotiation equate to endlessly backing away from your own mistakes? How do you climb down from the previous position without looking weak?
Consider this perfect record:
Greenland – Not happening.
Canada – Not happening.
Gaza luxury resorts – Not happening.
Ukraine peace deal – Not happening.
Trade with the rest of the world – Wanna bet?
The Great Goose Egg strikes again. And again.
Either this guy exists, or he doesn’t. Schrodinger’s cat had an advantage. It either was or wasn’t a cat. Here, we’re looking for a species as well.
It is now said by mystic choirs upon the internet that negotiations with China will be “nice”. There are no formal negotiations as yet. Presumably, these negotiations will be held on some obliging fossilized FOX News set or maybe even a different cemetery altogether.
The excitement is almost unbearable, largely because it’s non-existent.
The tariffs have already failed. It’s been three months.
As the Ship of State sails off the edge of the world yet again, the question now is what’s next?
Maybe they’ll invade Tornado Alley instead.
