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Op-Ed: Balloon wars — Unidentified Flying Obsolescences, or just plain dumb?

World War 3 may be a lot duller, and a lot dumber, than we expect.

A picture provided by the US Navy shows sailors recovering debris from a downed Chinese balloon off the coast of South Carolina on February 5, 2023 - Copyright AFP Ed JONES
A picture provided by the US Navy shows sailors recovering debris from a downed Chinese balloon off the coast of South Carolina on February 5, 2023 - Copyright AFP Ed JONES

The current spate of balloons and shooting down of balloons is almost farcical. The political positioning isn’t much better. Yet the balloons keep coming. If this is an intelligence-gathering exercise, the intelligence is missing at point of origin.

There’s a debate of sorts regarding the balloons’ ability to conduct surveillance. They may be designed to monitor local communications. There’s supposedly a fleet of these things, operating in 40 countries.

Which raises the question – Why is all this coming out now? According to some sources, three Chinese balloons flew over the US during the Trump “presidency”, and nothing was done about them. They weren’t even mentioned.

…So why are they such a big deal now? “Sophisticated” is the word being used, but they’re not. This backward form of intelligence gathering suggests a lack of other options. China is accused of millions of hacking attacks, which are at least clandestine.

Another issue – When trying to gather intelligence, it’s generally better if you don’t tell the other guy what intelligence you’re trying to gather. This is the exact opposite. The first Chinese balloon to be shot down delivered a laundry list.

You also certainly don’t donate your surveillance technology to the people you’re trying to spy on. It’d be very easy to figure out what sort of comms the balloons could monitor, etc.

You could achieve the same thing with passive monitors on the ground. There’s no need to sent a flying billboard saying “Hey, we’re spying on you!” across the entire Pacific ocean. The likely result is a few million bucks’ worth of shot down junk. That’s a lot of expense for not-very-impressive results, if any.

High-altitude balloons offer an alternative to planes and satellites for research, weather observation or espionage. — © AFP

My initial instinctive response to this idiocy was that it was too conspicuous, a diversion. Something else, much less visible, must be happening. Either the hacking isn’t working, or this is a desperate, and provocative, attempt to get actual information, improbable as that seems.

There’s an almost-Russian level of imbecility about this entire thing. Things of the past, invading the future, ineffectually, and wondering why it doesn’t seem to work. It’s not exactly news that “secure” communications don’t use easy-to-spy-on means.

Nor does encryption. A billion character coded message may contain exactly four relevant characters. Why assume balloons can pick up or deliver anything that much more advanced systems couldn’t? …And why make such a big deal about it? This is hardly “clandestine”.

The likely monitoring at this level may reveal that Private Whatsisface likes hamburgers, and that’s about it. Another glorious outcome for Lao Ma’s poodle warriors.  Let us fling another noodle in the pot! Damn the extravagance!

Unidentified Flying Obstructions

A very valid point has been made about these balloons flying at altitudes that might pose a risk to air traffic.  If you’re operating an air service, you may not be fully aware that idiots are putting flying obstructions around air traffic zones.

It’s hard to imagine anything more irresponsible. This is dumb cubed. Imagine the likely outrage over an airliner crashing into a balloon. “Intelligence” isn’t the word.

World War 3 may be a lot duller, and a lot dumber, than we expect.

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Disclaimer
The opinions expressed in this Op-Ed are those of the author. They do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of the Digital Journal or its members.

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Editor-at-Large based in Sydney, Australia.

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