Candlelight bathes the restaurant guests in a friendly glow, the guest of honour has been toasted and the five-course menu is about to be served.
Some diners are prepared to tuck into the feast with gusto yet others are casting around nervous glances. Which cutlery should be used first, and where do you put the napkin?The time when table manners were “out”, says PR adviser Stephanie Palm from Munich. Men and women aged 30 or so, are rediscovering the finer points of etiquette.The advantages of good manners are plain to see: “They give a pleasant impression and boost self-confidence.” Nutritional psychologists also advise approaching the dinner table with sensibility.Although there is no direct link between table etiquette and health, says Professor Joachim Westenhoefer of Hamburg, “the ambience is sure to play some role.” This includes taking the time to enjoy the food and savour its subtleties. Pleasant company, says Westenhoefer, also enhances health.But how do you eat “properly”? “The golden rule is: Convey an aesthetic and thoroughly silent impression”, says Palm. Chewing with an open mouth disqualifies itself, as does drinking while you eat. You should also avoid talking to someone with their mouth full, says etiquette adviser Lis Droste from Frankfurt. Anyone spoken to in this manner is forced to “make it clear by gesture and mimicry that they want to finish their mouthful first.”When eating a five-course meal – a frequent event these days at festive occasions – Palm says that guests needn’t feel intimidated or confused by the variety of cutlery before them: “You work your way towards the plate from the outside.” The same applies to the glasses, where if in doubt the drink decides which one should be taken. The bread plate belongs on the left-hand side as does the salad bowl.Yet these days rigorous behavioural rules won’t get you very far, especially considering the constant changes in the food on offer. Uncertain situations can often be mastered with a good dose of common sense and aesthetic intuition, say the experts. For example, many people find it an insurmountable challenge to deal with the pastry top on a spinach soup. “Quite simple,” says Droste: “You simply bore a hole with the spoon and crumble the pastry into the soup.”Also many sorts of previously unknown salad greens can be consumed pragmatically: “You can cut them all with the knife,” assures Palm. Potatoes, too, can be made more manageable by cutting – after all, the reason behind the old adage that it corrodes the metal, no longer applies. Droste goes one step further, though, in advising diners to lightly crush the spuds with the fork so that they can soak up the sauce.Other strict rules have also gone out of fashion, such as uttering “Enjoy your meal” or “Bon Appetit” before tucking in, although, as Palme says, it is still usual among close friends. Nevertheless, the napkin remains subject to special handling.Droste says it should neither go under the chin or be tucked in the belt. The correct way is to fold it in half and lay it on the lap: “It presents no problem if you sit up straight,” says the expert.If you should leave your place, you should always place your serviette next to the plate, never on the chair. After the meal is over, both linen and paper napkins are folded and not scrunched up on the plate.But when it comes to fashionable finger food, serviettes often fail to come up to scratch. Whether it’s stuffed mushrooms, tapas or a crab sandwich. An increasing number of meals include the opportunity to forget the cutlery and dip to your heart’s content.Unfortunately, hands can tend to get a little messy: “That’s where you need a little bowl filled with lukewarm water,” says Droste. Small sauce stains on the tablecloth need not signify a faux pas: you can simply cover them diplomatically with the napkin or breadbasket. However, if a full glass is knocked over, you should stay level- headed: “Simply indicate to the restaurant staff that you require assistance,” says Palm.Besides food, the correct way to handle drinks is another common topic in etiquette circles. You should only clink glasses with someone with the same drink, says Droste, never between a wineglass and a beer tankard, for instance. The glass should also be held by the stem, but “the most important thing is eye contact.” If a guest refuses alcohol, the host should respect this without comment.The appropriate table manners can also serve professional advancement, says etiquette expert Droste. “If several candidates reach the shortlist, the employer may often choose to lunch with them.”Applicants who smack their lips or wedge their napkin under the chin obviously won’t stand a chance. Another rule should always be observed on such occasions: “Never talk business before dessert,” says Palm.
