Teenagers continue to explore their sexuality but are they accessing the education they need? A new study says they aren’t seeking the knowledge about sex and relationships, but the problem lies with sex-ed and its outdated model.
In sex-ed class, I remember learning about HIV, AIDS, STDs and other frightening acronyms. A whole unit on birth control meandered for hours, giving students good reason to roll their eyes in boredom.
For all the safety precautions relating to sex, the teacher didn’t tell us about the intangibles of sexuality: foreplay, oral sex, fostering loving relationships, open relationships, kink, and so on. I know what you’re thinking: “Kids are too young and innocent to learn that stuff.”
Really? Around 75 percent of teenagers have had intercourse by the time they turn 20. More than half of all teens 15 to 19 years old have engaged in oral sex, according to a comprehensive 2005 study from the Centers for Disease Control. A new documentary titled Oral Sex Is the New Goodnight Kiss finds out why some children as young as 11 view blowjobs as no big deal.
One girl told Good Morning America: “I think there’s very much trading for relationship favors, almost like you need to do this [to] stay in this relationship.”
So that’s where sex education comes in, supposedly. It should inform kids on the “sex” of oral sex, the emotional implications of giving sexual favours, and so on. But a recent Toronto study found 83 per cent of teens said they never accessed sexual healthcare. Those who did said they weren’t happy with the service, calling it judgmental and far from youth friendly.
No huge surprise there. Sex-ed is notoriously out of date, ritualized and frustrating. Generations change their attitudes towards sexuality very quickly but sex education in schools remain stale. Yes, there’ll be HIV and condom talk, valuable information on reproduction, but there has to be supplementary info on oral sex, masturbation, same-sex couples and more. Kids can’t rely on just YouTube and friends for reliable info on these topics.
Dr. David McKeown, Medical Officer of Health, Toronto Public Health, admits it’s a challenge to educate teens who are hungry to learn about their changing bodies.
“We know that teens are getting sex education, they are getting advice, but it is not necessarily good advice because they are getting it from their friends. They should be getting it from someone who is knowledgeable and someone they can trust.”
Another aspect of this issue is rarely discussed: offering reliable sex-ed to diverse communities. Toronto is a great example, where half of its residents are non-white. Is the Sikh community getting sex-education that pertains to their religious background? What about the Chinese children who might not understand all the terms they hear in class?
If sex education is going to be effective in reeling in attention spans, it has to speak to the students. In various cities, that might mean diversifying the lessons in many languages, or rewriting brochures in phrases that relate to teens. In other areas, redefining sex education could open the doors to younger teachers who have recently gone through what the kids have encountered. Making sexual healthcare more accessible to students should be a top priority for municipalities, even if it raises the ire of hardline religious groups.
In the Toronto Teen Survey, kids say the main topics they want to learn about is HIV/AIDS, relationships and sexual pleasure. In the past, sex-ed effectively scared kids about HIV and AIDS. But the educational model has to adapt to changing wants, so it only makes sense for institutions to include units on pleasure and fostering relationships. Otherwise, the next generation will be wearing condoms and spouting HIV stats, but will be clueless on how to please their partners, both in and out of bed.
