BERLIN (dpa) – Men are the prime suspects in most crimes but a closer look at the statistics reveals that men also make up the largest group of victims. Despite this there is little talk in society of men’s experience of violence.
“Violence is a male thing and claims male victim,” says Gerd Ferdinand Kirchhoff, professor of law at the Technical University of Niederrhein in Moenchengladbach and president of the World Society of Victimology. The federal crime office BKA in Wiesbaden counted 420,836 acts of actual bodily harm last year, 66 per cent of which were inflicted on men.
There is a taboo about discussing the high victim-rate among men because of the cliches which dictate male behaviour, says sociologist Bastian Finke.
Finke runs the “Schwule Ueberfalltelefon” (Gay Attack Hotline), in Berlin, where he counsels 300 male victims of violence every year.
“Men who talk about their feelings or reveal they are feeling weak are seen by society as ‘weaklings’,” says Finke.
Hans-Joachim Lenz, a sociologist from Eckenhaid, Bavaria, believes “the concept of a male victim represents a paradox.
“Either someone is a victim or he is a man.” Men, he continues, are expected to be in control – of others and themselves. “Big boys don’t cry” is the standard phrase used to forbid males of all ages from crying and showing their feelings.
“But when men become victims, the cultural myths of the ‘strong man’ to which the victims themselves adhere no longer apply,” says Kirchhoff. “They have proved themselves incapable of meeting the male standard.” And it is precisely this feeling that can bring on the shame which is an obstacle to discussing pain they have suffered.
Although every man deals with violent experiences differently, very few ever take up the offer of professional help in coming to terms with it. In many respects, they come for consultation “at the last minute,” says Peter Giese, who works at the Victim Advice Bureau in Hamburg.
“The interesting thing is that men will seek expert advice as a matter of course in many problems – for example when their car goes wrong. But when they have problems themselves, they shy away from seeking competent help.”
Giese’s work brings him into contact with this fear. It seems as if men cannot bear to experience their helplessness, but even in these situations – in contrast to women – they feel they have to stay the “on top”. Finke says it’s worth asking “whether the concept of trauma counselling is at all relevant to men.”
Another problem facing male victims is that the victim-advice centres for men employ many more women than men. Although they do their work just as well, the clients often prefer a male to discuss their deeply personal topics with.
It appears male helpers find it easier to work with abused young women and male perpetrators than with same-sex victims, says Lenz: “The male counsellors do not want to see these victims because they seek to avoid being seen from their own weak, ‘feminine’ side”.
