Digital Journal — Self-help books are for wimps. The best non-fiction to help guide our chaotic lives is framed with humour, not Oprah-esque cheesiness. Digital Journal reviews quirky and useful books that everyone should own — or at least consider during those indecisive moments of “What do I do now?”
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The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Life by Jeremy Piven and David Borgenicht (Chronicle Books)
How to survive life. Wow. Shouldn’t this be longer than 300 pages? Anyone familiar with the Worst-Case Scenario series will understand why these books go lean. The writers pack concise advice without meandering into verbose explanations. Often cheeky, the writing entertains as much as it informs.
The Life book is no exception, as it covers everyday crises with both gravity and wit. Hard to pull off, but Piven and Borgenicht have had enough practice with other Scenario handbooks to perfect the technique. Want to know how to deal with a flooded basement or a charging rhino? This book has the answers (use a commercial pump, climb the nearest tree, respectively). Even weird social situations are under the microscope: learn how to break awkward elevator silence, handle a kid high on a sugar buzz, escape from a mosh pit, or stiff-arm a costumed mascot’s encroaching hug.
Even the illustrations are playful, which suits the tone of a book every living person can enjoy.
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100 Bullshit Jobs And How to Get Them by Stanley Bing (HarperCollins)
“Bullshit is not what is true, but what we wish might be true. That is, bullshit is hope.” And following the logic of Stanley’s Bing’s statement in the introduction, the 100 jobs in his book are hopeful career choices for creative liars. Take the summary of a publicist’s role: “Be willing to stand in front of the media and get through the moment with a straight face.” Or how about a funeral director, who convinces the grief-stricken to empty their wallets for a $7,500 oak casket?
Every job is broken down by pay scale, skills required, duties, famous example, and the upside and downside. Bing even includes pithy quotes to accompany each job description (for “Political Reverend” Barry Goldwater says: “I think every good Christian ought to kick Falwell right in the ass”).
But as knee-smackingly funny as this book is, Bing included several clunkers as flabby padding. His case for the hogwash of what a massage therapist does is barely supported by evidence, and a passage on book editors just feels like sour grapes. And where’s the latest bullshit job, reality TV producer?
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DSI: Date Scene Investigation by Ian Kerner (Regan Books)
If CSI picks apart the minutiae of forensic science, then DSI dissects every tiny aspect in budding relationships. Through exhaustive case studies, sex therapist Ian Kerner describes how this couple can work on communication, that couple can balance work priorities and intimacy, that couple should forget about their past lovers, etc. Each story spares no detail to explain what went wrong on what date. But does Kerner have to spend 20 pages on each couple?
Humour sprinkles the book in the form of Kerner’s personality classifications: those afflicted with the “Don Quixote Syndrome” have delusional fantasies of grandeur, tend to overuse words like “visionary” and guru” and say things like “all it takes is one big break.” And even the glossary glows with a few gems, such as BBT-Baby Talk Tendencies (no explanation needed) and NICEASS (Naughty Inter-Cubicle Exchanges Affair Syndrome and Situation).
It would’ve been helpful to throw in a few illustrations to break apart the flood of text and subheads. Even a table illustrating the most common dating blunders would make DSI a more visually entertaining read.
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Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader: Extraordinary Book of Facts and Bizarre Information by the Bathroom Readers Institute (Portable Press)
So the latest from the Bathroom Readers’ Institute isn’t a self-help book, per se. But we include this compendium of odd facts because it’s full of enough information — from fascinating to funky — to actually help you learn more about culture and society. Of course, your life won’t be enriched by finding out how Gatorade originated, but it’s useful to know the average American 17-year-old watches 55 commercials every day (hide the remote, parents). And who wouldn’t benefit from the knowledge that 13 chemicals in a cup of coffee caused cancer in laboratory rats?
The main gripe with every Bathroom Reader release is that the song remains the same. The format and fact categories rarely change book to book, so it seems almost silly to own more than one Bathroom Reader. But this softcover 396-pager should be the ideal crown to any toilet tank. After all, if you live an average life span, you’ll spend six months on the toilet — and you don’t want to spend that time by yourself.
