Miller never shies away from talking about his own experiences, and relating them to important life lessons. In his new book Scary Close: Dropping the Act and Finding True Intimacy, Miller’s bottom line is that the authentic and real us is much more interesting than what we present ourselves to be. It is only in being real that we can be successful in our relationships.
It is a lesson that took Miller many years to learn. He married for the first time at the age of 42 (almost unheard of in Christian circles) after a string of numerous failed relationships and one broken engagement which finally caused him to re-evaluate the way he dated. He decided, at the age of 40, to just be himself rather than spending all of his time and energy on impressing people.
Scary Close pretty much documents his courtship and engagement with his wife, in the context of his past relationship failures and issues as a child. This is not the first time Miller has gotten personal: much of his work has dealt with his struggles with faith as well as growing up without a father.
Most of all, Scary Close is about maturity and freedom. When we are free of the masks we wear, we free ourselves from constant drama and become free to love and enjoy life. It sounds simple, but it isn’t, especially when one has spent decades honing a carefully crafted persona.
Reading the book is almost like having a conversation with a good friend or brother. Miller is never preachy and while faith is definitely a part of his journey, he does not dwell upon the religious aspects of things. It is a fairly quick read with a lot of substance.
Scary Close is published by Thomas Nelson.
