Actor, director, and writer Harrison Browne chatted about his new short LGBTQ+ sports film “Pink Light.”
Prior to his career in film, he was a professional hockey player in the National Women’s Hockey League (NWHL) and the first out transgender athlete in professional hockey.
How did “Pink Light” come about?
“Pink Light” was inspired by a moment when I was having tea in my living room. I was looking into my bedroom where I have these colored light bulbs and they happened to be set to pink at that time.
While I was looking at them I was reminded of the cheesy colored lights that I used to see at frat parties during my time at college.
I was viscerally brought back to the feelings I had back then, the insecurity, the fear for the future… I had this image of my younger self looking into these lights and I wished that he could see where we are now; in our own apartment, in a loving relationship, physically transitioned and just living a happy life that seemed so elusive to me at that time.
I wanted to gift that glimpse into the future for myself because that would have given me a lot of peace at that time, a clearer light at the end of the tunnel.
What did this sports film teach you about yourself?
I initially thought that this film was simply a love letter to my younger self but what came out of filming it, editing it and acting in it was also closure for my relationship with hockey.
Since stepping away from hockey to physically transition, I’ve been trying to find my way back into it but I didn’t know where I fit in.
I didn’t want to play on women’s teams anymore, with men’s teams I was worried about the environment in the locker room, and with gay leagues I couldn’t find one that fit my skill level.
I didn’t realize that I was carrying a lot of shame about not fitting into the sports world the way that I used to.
Through “Pink Light” I discovered that I didn’t need hockey in my life to feel complete, that actually that stage in my life is over.
I can come back to hockey from time to time (and I still do) but figuring out a way for it to be a constant in my life is something I don’t need to figure out anymore.
I can let it go, this movie gave me the permission to do that.
How did it feel to be the first-ever transgender athlete in professional hockey?
When I came out while playing in the NWHL I didn’t realize I was becoming the first of anything. I was just doing what I needed to do to feel like myself in my sport and live an authentic life.
What came out of being the first out transgender professional hockey player was now the hockey world, and the sports world, had to acknowledge the participation and inclusion of a transgender athlete.
In response to my coming out the NWHL created one of the first transgender policies in professional team sports.
Knowing that trans and gender diverse hockey players that came after me would have a blue print to follow and be accepted and embraced by this league was a huge source of pride for me.
How does it feel to be a part of the digital age?
The beauty of being yourself is the ability to provide representation for your community. I feel that this is extremely important for the trans community because growing up I didn’t see many positive examples of what being trans could be.
I also didn’t see any transgender athletes growing up and I felt really alone in my struggles.
After coming out through an ESPN article in 2016, I had a lot of messages on my social media accounts from kids, athletes, and families all over the world saying that seeing me be myself empowered them to be themselves or accept people in their lives like me.
To me, that has meant the most out of the whole process.
Sure, winning championships and being able to be a pro-athlete are memories I will cherish for the rest of my life, but knowing I also made an impact on someone’s personal life and helped someone feel less alone in their journey brings me a lot of pride as well.
What do your plans for the future include?
The next project on the horizon is the feature version of PINK LIGHT that will center more around the struggles of being a division one athlete while being trans.
Providing representation for trans athletes on screen is more crucial now than ever given the discourse and volatile rhetoric surrounding trans participation in sports in today’s society.
We need to start seeing trans athletes as people with real lives and struggles outside of the field rather than just the subject of a controversial talking point.
Storytelling has been the best way I’ve found for creating true pathways for empathy and change, I want to keep doing that well into the foreseeable future.
I also want to create more representation for transmen and transmasculine athletes who are often left out of the narrative. We need to humanize this wonderful but deeply misunderstood community.
What is your advice for young and emerging hockey players?
My advice for young hockey players would be to not let rejection early on bring you down. I got cut from a lot of teams growing up and didn’t make a top team until I was about 16 years old.
If you enjoy it, keep working hard, keep having fun and eventually you will see the fruits of your labor – sometimes it might take more time than others.
And know that some days will be better than others, but the bad days are even more important than the good. So just keep showing up because with anything, consistency is the key.
What does the word success mean to you?
Success in life to me is discovering who you are, what you want and going after it. Success in creativity to me is discovering what you want to say and saying it in a way that resonates with people.
What would you like to tell our readers about “Pink Light”? (What’s the one thing you want them to get out of it)
What I hope people take away from “Pink Light” is the simple reminder that real human interactions are messy and imperfect but that doesn’t mean we’re not trying our best to figure each other out.
To learn more about Harrison Browne, follow him on Instagram and visit his website.
