MaryAnn is a thought leader in Digital Journal’s Insight Forum (become a member).
I took this photo the day before my cruise ended. Seven nights on the ocean — it was one of the best vacations I’ve ever had. The kind that slows your heartbeat and reminds you how good life can be when you’re present. I was relaxed, grateful, joyful… and yet, I found myself quietly grieving before the trip was even over.
That day, I stood at the edge of the deck and looked out at the horizon with a strange mix of peace and sadness. I didn’t want to leave. I also couldn’t stay. I missed home, my bed, my friends, my community. But I also didn’t want to say goodbye to that version of me who had been so free.
It struck me: this is what most goodbyes feel like. You want to hold on. But you know you have to let go.
And that’s when I realized in leadership, in careers, and in life — growth often begins with a goodbye. Letting go is not weakness; it’s a strategic, courageous act that creates space for what’s next.
The goodbye you don’t see coming
In 2008, I lost my mother and nothing could have prepared me for that kind of goodbye.
Her passing changed everything. She wasn’t just my mother; she was my safe place. My sounding board. The steady presence in the background of every chapter I’d lived. And suddenly, she was gone.
For a long time, I resisted letting go. I held onto my grief like a protective blanket. I didn’t want closure. I feared that healing meant forgetting. But it doesn’t.
Grief taught me that goodbye doesn’t end love, it transforms it. I carry her with me. In the way I show up. In the way I lead. In the way I love. And through it all, my faith as a Christian has anchored me. I’ve experienced God’s comfort not by removing the pain, but by giving me the strength to walk through it with grace.
And just like in business, holding on too tightly to what was can prevent us from recognizing the opportunity of what could be.
The goodbye that changed everything
In 2019, I said goodbye to my home country, Nigeria, and moved to Canada with my husband and our two daughters.
That move came with deep prayers, spreadsheets, difficult conversations, and quiet tears. I resigned from a job I loved after over eleven years of building a career. I left behind family, friends, my community, my creative ministry, and the comfort of the familiar. It was one of the boldest decisions I’ve ever made.
Like many immigrants, I didn’t just cross borders. I crossed into uncertainty. Into rebuilding. Into starting over. And that takes more than courage — it takes conviction.
I worried: will my career survive? Will I start from scratch? Will I ever find my rhythm again?
And yes, I had to go back to the bottom and rebuild. But what I found in that rebuilding was resilience. Reinvention. I didn’t lose myself. I discovered new dimensions of who I am, as a woman, a mother, a leader, a creator.
The most impactful leaders are not those who avoid change, they are those who know how to rebuild with purpose. This was a lesson I would lean on when faced with other, quieter goodbyes.
The goodbyes we fear in silence
Not all goodbyes are loud. Some show up quietly in our thoughts — like the fear of losing a job, a title, a place we’ve anchored our identity.
I’ve never been let go from a role, but during seasons of organizational change, I’ve felt the uncertainty. The whisper: What if I’m next? What if I’m not enough?
These fears are not unique. They’re common in industries where change is constant, like energy, finance, mining, and tech. We often equate job security with personal worth. But I’ve learned this: your value is not limited to your current role. Your identity is not your job title.
Through mentorship and a lot of self-work, I’ve reframed my fear. A goodbye in your career isn’t always a verdict. Sometimes, it’s a redirection, a door closing to make room for something more aligned.
I’ve learned to see unexpected change not as an ending but as an opening for something new. My faith anchors this for me, but in practice it’s a mindset shift that every leader can adopt when the door closes. When something shifts unexpectedly, I now ask: What new thing might be emerging?
Strategic leaders aren’t afraid of goodbyes; they know how to pivot with clarity and integrity.
I experienced this recently when our team faced a sudden organizational change, made even harder by the unexpected transition of a trusted leader. The shift created uncertainty and a noticeable change in our culture. In that moment, I knew my role was to bring stability. I focused on what we could control — guiding the team toward upcoming projects and making sure we had the extra hands we needed to keep things moving. Letting go of the way things had been wasn’t easy, but by providing clarity and direction, we found the confidence to move forward together.
This experience reminded me that even in the most uncertain seasons, letting go of what was can create the foundation for what will be.
Leadership in the in-between
Letting go isn’t passive. It’s a leadership act.
As professionals, we’re taught to acquire titles, influence, and traction. But one of the most underdeveloped leadership muscles is the ability to release. Releasing control. Releasing outdated strategies. Releasing ego.
Recently, I had to guide my team through a tough but necessary goodbye. Our existing learning strategy and documented processes had served us well in the past, but they no longer fit our current state. Through honest conversations, we acknowledged this reality together and it wasn’t easy. Over three weeks of workshops, we streamlined our approach, removed redundant steps in stakeholder engagement, and took responsibility to communicate to our partners that we had found better ways of working. Letting go of the old wasn’t simple, but it built our credibility and created space for greater impact.
This lesson isn’t just for the big professional changes. It shows up in the quiet moments of parenting, too. As a mother, I’m witnessing my daughters’ evolution in real time. My nine-year-old still reaches for my hand, but less often. My seven-year-old says something so wise I pause and ask, Who is this child?
With each phase, I’m letting go gently and intentionally of the versions of them that once were. This quiet goodbye to what helped me mother them in their becoming.
Presence, real presence, isn’t just about being visible, it’s about being aligned. When we hold onto people, roles, or strategies that no longer serve us, we delay our next breakthrough. Letting go is not failure, it’s wisdom with timing.
In seasons of uncertainty, I’ve learned that clarity often comes step by step. As leaders, we don’t always have the full picture, but we can lean into trust and alignment rather than rushing toward control.
What this means for leaders navigating change
- Goodbyes are not just emotional — they’re strategic. Leaders must build the emotional capacity to close doors without losing momentum.
- Learn to grieve the old without idolizing it. Even successful models can become barriers if they’re no longer fit for purpose.
- Guide your team through transition with empathy. People don’t resist change, they resist the pain of letting go.
- Redefine success not by how long you hold on, but by how well you adapt and align.
Final reflection
That cruise I mentioned? It wasn’t my forever. And neither are most of the roles, seasons, or titles we cling to.
So here’s to the goodbyes that stretch us. The ones we never asked for. The ones we prayed through. The ones that make us question who we are and then, somehow, reveal the truest version of us.
Here’s to the mother learning to release.
The immigrant learning to rebuild.
The professional learning to pivot.
The leader learning to let go.
Goodbyes are not weakness. They are sacred acts of faith. They are how we make room for what’s next.
