Poo burger? Medium rare or well done?

Posted Jun 18, 2011 by Gar Swaffar
Japan is crowded by the limits of being an island nation. Agricultural expansion is often difficult against the backdrop of population expansion. The question then is how to create more food in less area? And it's supposed to taste just like beef?
A crappy dessert served at The Modern Toilet
A crappy dessert served at The Modern Toilet
Fun Fever
News junkies run across the occasional story which simply makes very little sense and leaves us scratching our heads and wondering what the victims or protagonists were thinking.
A case in point is a Japanese research program to use human excrement as the basis of a new food source. The poo burger. Sewage "mud" is in bountiful supply it seems for Tokyo Sewage and finding something to do with it was a priority for them. The nameless individual who first said "Lets make a turd sandwich" has not been shared with the world, but let's all hope he is finally getting professional help for this lapse in rational behavior.
Mitsuyuki Ikeda as reported at Fox News is a researcher at Okayama Laboratory who has dived right in to the project to turn the human waste mud into a palatable meat substitute. A turd burger in other words, a burger made from yesterdays rice cakes and Kobe beef.
Protein content 63%, carbohydrates 25%, lipids 3%, minerals make up the remaining 9%. And although soya protein is added to the product, it s only used as a flavor enhancer and binder to hold the poo flakes/strands together along with some red food dye to give the fecal fillet a more appetizing appearance.
The process which creates the butt beef includes a "reaction enhancer", an "exploder", and is actually more healthy than a typical burger since it's lower in fat.
The proteins in the s**t sandwich are based on the bacteria found in the sewage mud, but those bacteria are killed by the heat in the manufacturing process.
When you're told to be sure to get your meats internal temperature on the barbecue up to 140 degrees F. to make sure it's safe to eat, they may have had this product in mind. Maybe 450 degrees would be better.
And the small bit in the video of Professor Ikeda using "the facilities" would have been better left out.
The idea of rolling up to the order window at the new fast food restaurant to order a 'combo' deal beggars the mind. "I'd like a Flaky Fecal Fillet Sandwich hold the mayo, extra pickles and super-size those tater turds please. I'd like a large "Yellow " lemonade to go with that also.
At this time due to the cost of the research, the pre-eaten meat is ten to twenty times the cost of regular beef. But soon, coming to a fast food joint in your neighborhood.....
On the bright side, the circle of life in the food chain would then be a closed loop. And where they used to say "You are what you eat" will change to "You eat what you ate"
Also, for those will be or are currently serving in the Military, when they offer you SOS , it may actually be real S**t on a Shingle.
Oddly enough, this even makes "Soylent Green" seem not as bad.
From which carried the story also, comes the quote for the ultimate food test:
'Would it kill a brown dog'?
Somehow, even lacking the Australian cultural context, that quote makes a lot of sense.