Op-Ed: Toronto’s rich kid-haters ducking the trick or treaters?

It’s a tale of woe. You can feel two pairs of sore little feet trudging the immaculate neighborhood, under surveillance, and getting the brush-off. Even getting cute answers from the gate phones, like “Nobody’s home”… Bright bastard, obviously. What’s strangest about this is that even in Australia, where we don’t celebrate Halloween, officially, kids still go trick or treating, and get some treats. I grew up in a neighborhood like this, and even if you could accuse the rich of being a pack of drunks, few could resist kids having fun on these social occasions, particularly trick or treating. Even I, Flintpockets, have been known to give to kids on Halloween. So what’s the deal? Is there some representative body of Super Stingy Inc. that can be called to account? Or are these guys too cheap to answer phones, too? Maybe there’s a Cheap Jerks #109 that can explain the policies? Surely the people responsible for the recession have some sort of mouthpiece, their own Rash Limburger or whatever his name is, who can prove that Halloween is some sort of socialist plot. There’s something highly suspicious about kids being kids, after all. Perhaps it’s a moral tale: Children need to tramp the streets in hope to get through life. Or maybe the idea is for the rich to drag anything that’s fun down to the same social level as themselves. It says a lot that someone whose income may or may not approach the level of the dry cleaning bill was able to give, but not the poor mansion dwellers, who had to watch these kids passing by in secret. I can think of another moral: When watching humanity go by un-rewarded, you’re watching your true selves in action, ducking the issues that generation of kids will have to face. Just a thought… Thanks to 666divine for this story.