Fargo ND graduates yearbook Roxana Saberi, free lance journalist for the BBC, Fox News, National Public Radio and other Western news outlets, has been arrested in Iran, her father confirms.

The Roxana Saberi Hostage Crisis, Week Three and Counting. And Counting. And Counting... By this time, fully realizing that the Islamist Iranian Thugocracy is playing with us like a toy over Roxana Saberi (and playing with Roxana a LOT worse), and having had the only two olive branches extended to Iran slapped violently out of his hand, our President should realize the futility of the situation and react with stronger words and sterner measures. Like the aforementioned Stealth flyovers of Iran's capitol. Sends a message. Nobody gets hurt. Yet. You know. That sort of thing. Yet our President is notably silent on this matter, when Roxana should be his primary concern given the situation. Perhaps he still honestly believes the hollow hostage-takers' words. Perhaps, even, like our former hostage-bound president, James Earl Carter, Mr. Obama is vacillating and fretting as to what to do, what to do about Roxana Saberi as her mental condition deteriorates. We got air forces on both sides of Iran! They're right there! Wouldn't even have to waste much fuel. Just a buzz cut. Send 'em a message. They'll get it. They send messages like that all the time! Worse, even. Oh, well. Okay-yy. We'll do it the liberal Democrat Way. Let's cut a deal with the bastards if it means getting the extremely distraught Roxana Saberi back home. Here are your Humble Narrator's astute proposals and suggestions in that regard. Proposal #1. Since the Iranian Thugocracy is most interested in seeing its billions of US-frozen assets back, I say okay. IF they're willing to do an armed-to-the-teeth, middle-of-the-desert trade at the Iran-Iraq border. I don't trust them, do you? Anyway, they get the briefcase, we get Roxana the hell out of Dodge. Then we drop an equal value amount of ordnance on Iran's ministries, government offices, military and nuclear facilities for blackmailing us over Roxana. You know. A Matching Plan. Sounds fair to me! Might want to hit a few of those Iranian terrorist training camps as well. They've earned it. More than. Proposal #2. Obviously, we can't send President Obama to Evin prison. That is the ONE thing the American Left would ever go to war over. Not Roxana, mind you. Just him. But if the Iranians want a US President in exchange for Roxana Saberi, I say we send Jimmy Carter. Not only can they make him a hostage, they can make him a General! Proposal #3. We trade the eerily silent Madame Secretary Clinton for Roxana. Rather than beat or stone Madame Secretary, as Iran's misogynist leaders may be wont to do, I would suggest to Iran's extremists that they keep our SOS around for amusement. You know. Let her go with all that full Hillary rage, so they can laugh at the fact there were once men in the Great Satan who actually lived in terror of her. Not only that, she can blame the United States for Mexican drug cartel violence (rather than, say, the drug cartels themselves), from Stooge TV in Tehran. They'll LOVE it! Food for thought. Deal to consider. Proposal #4. Should Proposals #1, #2 or #3 not tickle the Iranians' fancies, I hereby place Oscar Gold on the table: Stooge Team Hollywood. They're right there! In fact, they LOVE it there! Not only that, if the Iranians can hold and squeeze The Nine Stooges like the Mob used to hold and squeeze counterfeiters before dumping them into Lake Michigan, they can really get those Iranian kids' martyrdom and president-stabbing puppet shows to really SHINE! Iran exports that stuff now, you know. Think of how DreamWorks and Pixar-quality animation will expand Martrydom Productions' market! As a superior-firepower diplomat, I believe my four proposals to today's Third Reich in Iran are more than fair. I just want to get Roxana back, before she goes either totally batshite from their mental torture or, worst of all, dies in Evin prison from it all. How long could you stand having the trigger to an empty gun pointed at YOUR head pulled? Get the idea? That's who they ARE! Not the freedom-loving Iranian people. The freedom-crushing, blogger-killing Islamist extremist regime. Hell, they're even exterminating gays as we speak! I could go to war with them right now just for that, and I'm straight! Which brings up the Old Fashioned Way. Iran has tormented us as a nation for thirty long hellish years, Now they torment us yet again today with the unlawful detention of Roxana Saberi. When do we stop it? Right now, my main concern is getting Roxana Saberi the hell out of Hell, and right now. The contact pages. Again. For the THIRD straight week! Here's the White House. Here's the State Department. Here's Congress. Feel free to thank and rally even further Roxana's true BFFs NPR, ABC, the BBC and the CPJ. Speaking of which, the Invisible Press: the New York Times, CNN, FOX, NBC, CBS, and AP. Given the gravity of the situation, shouldn't this be a 24-hour news coverage item now? You tell me! Lastly, not for me, but for Roxana, ALWAYS for Roxana, please email this update and contact info far and wide. Pirate what you will. This is not journalism. It is a PSA. FREE ROXANA SABERI! NOW! LIKE RIGHT NOW! GET HER HOME AND OUT OF HELL!!!

Fargo ND graduates yearbook Roxana Saberi, free lance journalist for the BBC, Fox News, National Public Radio and other Western news outlets, has been arrested in Iran, her father confirms.