Photo courtesy Nathalie Caron Nathalie Caron graduated from university with a degree in journalism, but has gone on to work public service for the Canadian government. She now covers news online as a citizen journalist. image:40670:4::0

Very few able-bodied people know what it's like to live with a disability, but Nathalie Caron does. Almost everyone close to her is suffering from disabilities, both physical and mental. Now she wants to help others through citizen journalism.

Nathalie Caron is a firecracker — exciting, quick and fun, but don’t let her blow up in your hand. She’s the type of person whose energy pulses from a simple email. But on her bad days, her temper could make Bill O’Reilly cower.

“I am clinically depressed,” she admitted to me over weeks of interviews by email and phone. “I am either happy, or sad and rarely in the middle. There is Nathalie, and there is the second me, which I lovingly call ‘The Devil.’ It is the same side of me that gets me feeling down on myself sometimes, like a little voice in the back of my mind, telling me I can't do it, that I shouldn't try, telling me to hate. Fighting that little voice is hard, gaining control when the devil takes over takes a lot of time and effort.”

When you first talk to Caron, a 23-year-old Ottawa resident, you’d never know Lucifer was even aware of her address. She is jovial, inquisitive and appreciative of help. She is also the type of person to go out of her way to help a friend. Ask her about herself, and she’ll spill the beans. If you spend any time at all talking to Caron, it doesn’t take long to see the real her.

Long-time DigitalJournal.com readers may know her as the well-spoken Citizen Journalist who has posted more than 150 articles. But to discover the true Nathalie C., you need to springboard into her life without hesitation.

Caron’s openness is perhaps one of the most unique features I have ever encountered in an interview, as she talked to me as though I were an old friend, confiding without fear of recourse or judgment. She exposed wounds most people would keep hidden in their closet.

Almost everyone in Caron’s life suffers from some sort of debilitating physical or mental handicap. Her father was diagnosed as manic depressive and bipolar, her sister has Down syndrome and her live-in boyfriend suffers from cerebral palsy. Despite all this, and despite the pain she sees and suffers as a result of her own depression, Caron still smiles wide.

Now, Caron is taking her experience in journalism and physical handicaps to the next level; along with her boyfriend, Caron has started a video game website devoted to people with disabilities.

But where did this ambitious young woman begin her journey?

Photo courtesy Nathalie Caron Nathalie Caron graduated from university with a degree in journalism, but has gone on to work public service for the Canadian government. She now covers news online as a citizen journalist. image:40666:3::0

Growing Pains

Born in Montreal, Quebec, Caron moved to an urban part of town when she was very young. A self-proclaimed “socialite” as a child, Caron said she was constantly getting into trouble.

Caron’s mother, Christine Charbonneau, was a famous singer in Quebec, winning acclaim with a Billboard disco hit “Censuré” in 1975. Her mother was previously married to a man named Roger Joubert, with whom she had twins, but that marriage did not last.

In 1982, Charbonneau married Nathalie’s father, Nelson, a practicing lawyer. That year, the couple had their first child, Nathalie’s eldest sister Julie, and life for the Caron family changed. Her father had to quit his practice to take care of Julie, who was born with Down syndrome.

When Caron was six, her family moved from Montreal to Ottawa because her parents believed the province of Ontario had better social services for disabled children. But Ottawa brought more family struggles, as her father was eventually diagnosed as being bipolar and manic-depressive and he was put on lithium.

Photo by Nathalie Caron he Parliament of Canada is Canada's legislative branch, seated at Parliament Hill in Ottawa, Ontario image:40674:8::0

Conflicts also arose in Ottawa because Caron spoke no English and had difficulty making friends. Caron eventually became bilingual, speaking both French and English fluently.

Caron later moved to a gifted program in high school and her circle of friends changed a lot when she became interested in art and drama. She also started experimenting with drugs, starting with marijuana in grade 10.

“The following year, [a friend and I] tried ecstasy together, and our list of experiences would keep on growing; Mushrooms, PCP, ketamine, mescaline. Rock concerts, raves, drinking -- it was all a lot of fun.”

As she matured, she grew away from many of her friends and the drug phase.

"I had a few bad experiences, some of those 'never again' moments which turned me off [drugs]," she said. "I can remember one distinct night, having gone for martinis and ketamine, my friend had a high tolerance so she gave me a big bump. Needless to say, I got way sick and puked right there on Rideau St, in plain sight. I haven't gone down that road since then, over four years ago."

That was the wake-up call for Caron, and she made changes in her life to totally cut drugs out. She stopped hanging around many of her friends and started spending more time with her boyfriend, Brian Papineau.

The couple met when she was 18 on a rave-scene social networking site. Caron remembers Papineau, 25 at the time, posting dry and sarcastic comments on the site, sometimes commenting with sharp insults. He was witty, Caron remembered, and the two eventually began talking. They met in flesh-and-blood in downtown Ottawa and over time became a couple. Again, Natalie’s life would change, as she learned Papineau had cerebral palsy.

Photo courtesy Nathalie Caron Citizen journalist Nathalie Caron stands with her boyfriend Brian Papineau. The two founded the website TheAbleGamer.com as a way to cover news about video games for disabled people. image:40663:2::0

Dealing With ‘The Palsy’ and Depression

With a sister who has Down syndrome and a manic-depressive father, Caron knows what it’s like to deal with disability and mental anguish. But those feelings hit her even harder when she found out that her boyfriend was facing a painful life with his cerebral palsy.

“When we met, [Brian] experienced very few symptoms from the palsy,” said Caron. “He managed to live his daily life without thinking about it, for the most part. But two years later, his condition started to deteriorate. He became prone to a lot of panic attacks caused by all the weird feelings coursing through his body. Sometimes he doesn't feel his left arm, leg, the side of his face, [or] feels like he is having trouble breathing along with bad stomach aches. I have been doing my best to help him through this struggle, for the past three and half years. I love him very much.”

Caron says she currently does not have many hobbies beyond listening to music because her work life, commuting and helping Papineau has become a full-time job, especially since his condition has declined.

With so much weight on her shoulders, I asked her if she ever felt like she’s missed out or if she’s been tied down.

“I guess I have been a little held down, but it is mostly my own choice,” she said. “When you learn to love and live with someone, sometimes selfish instincts need to take the door. So I don't go out and get shit-faced with people that don't have much to say except to talk about the last time they got smashed -- no big loss in my book. Whatever choice you make in life, you will end up missing out on certain opportunities, but it is the same for everyone. I'm comfortable with my life and with helping Brian.”

Photo courtesy Nathalie Caron Nathalie Caron studied journalism in French at La Cité collégiale, University of Ottawa. image:40673:1::0

Caron, the journalist

Writing was always with Caron, no matter what problems she faced. She studied journalism in French at La Cité collégiale, University of Ottawa. When she left school, she didn’t jump right into the journalism beat; instead she got a job at the Ministry of Environment with the Canadian government.

Working as an administrative assistant to the ministerial communication staff, Caron said she loves the job because of the various job responsibilities, ranging from taking media calls to booking meetings to editing and researching.

“I particularly like this job because of my passion for politics,” said Caron. “I get to see how that world works, the spin, the strategies. I love it” Through the Ministry, she has also met several influential people, including Sheila Fraser, Canada’s Auditor General, the Dali Lama and Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper.

Photo courtesy Nathalie Caron Nathalie Caron stands with Canadian Prime Minister, Stephen Harper. image:40664:5::0

Caron breaks up her civil servant routine by working on and off at DigitalJournal.com. Caron joined the site in November 2006 after seeing a TV segment about the site. “The variety in news, the personal edge of citizen journalism, the large amount of opinion pieces and the community aspect are all very appealing,” she said. “As a citizen journalist, I find it to be a motivating outlet, due to the constant feedback of readers.”

Caron believes citizen journalism adds a personal touch you don’t find in mainstream media, and she said she thinks it’s evolving to become a dominant method of news reporting. She also thinks citizen journalism provides its own quality-control checks, adding, “There is a need for caution in providing accurate or at least complete information. But as others have said before me, the openness of citizen journalism sites, such as Digital Journal, create an organic checks-and-balances system where people are only too happy to point out mistakes or flagrant biases. That in itself makes citizen journalism a wonderful thing.”

Caron follows environmental news and celebrity gossip, but her main news passion centres on politics and technology. It’s the latter hobby and her background in journalism that led her to launch a website with her boyfriend for gamers who suffer from disabilities.

The Able Gamer

Caron got into video games because of her boyfriend, but also because she enjoys the music, gameplay and vast open worlds, like those in the Final Fantasy series.

Working with her boyfriend, Caron co-founded a gaming review site focusing on what it’s like to be a gamer with a disability. Starting in January 2008, The Able Gamer was set up to create a news community and a niche for gamers living with disabilities. The site turned its focus to casual and family video games with special attention put on health and technology. The site caters to gamers who have disabilities, but also family or friends who live with someone who is disabled.

Caron’s boyfriend Papineau came up with the idea for the Able Gamer because, as he writes on the site, “as far back as I can remember I've had to adapt myself to video game controllers. I started The Able Gamer because in all the time that I spent reading gaming coverage, I never saw coverage that would take people with disabilities or medical conditions into account. I also encountered more than a few gamers in my message board rounds that ‘thought they were the only ones gaming with a disability.”

Caron has helped Papineau develop and fund the site, as well as contribute editorial. With a full-time job, she admits it’s difficult to find time but she tries to contribute as often as possible. “I contribute because Brian likes to have as much content online as possible, but also because I find the concept very positive,” says Caron.

Caron says next-generation gaming on consoles like the Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 or Nintendo Wii focus so much on slick presentation that it can be difficult for a disabled gamer to enjoy the gameplay. Some games only include small fonts that are difficult to read and complex storylines can be confusing for people who suffer from mental disabilities. The lack of subtitles is insulting to deaf gamers, as well.

Screen grab TheAbleGamer.com is a video game website run by Brian Papineau and Nathalie Caron. The site focuses on news with a special focus on how people with disabilities adapt to video games. image:40671:0::0

Caron says video game developers should take the disabled into account when designing and creating new products. “We don't believe the games should necessarily be targeted to gamers with disabilities, but that their design should adapt to the various needs of gamers,” said Caron. “Also, developers need to know that certain people living with disabilities can only escape through video games, which is another reason to promote universal access.”

Video games, says Caron, have had a positive impact on her life and health and she believes far too many people make unfair judgments about gamers and video games. “I think certain people are misinformed when they say games are evil,” says Caron. “You can't make a judgement that is so black and white. Certain games might be, but I think it's a little stupid to look at it that way.”

Caron recognizes the benefits of gaming in her boyfriend every day, as he is forced to stay home and he’s limited to how much he can move around. Because he plays anywhere from one to eight hours a day, Caron says gaming gives him something to fall back on and it stimulates his mind and body.

For example, a game like Wii Fit might sound like it wouldn’t be ideal for a gamer like Papineau, who has trouble maintaining his balance. But in a recent blog post to the site, Papineau wrote: “We'll be picking up our copy of Wii Fit later today. I'll be doing a standard review sometime next week, but I'll also be experimenting with it quite a bit. I'll be testing it with my hands instead of feet for one. I'm most interested to see how it treats my complete lack of normal balance. Because of the palsy, I put far less pressure down on my left leg than my right most of the time. I assume I'll have to find exploits and trick it to get a ‘normal’ result out of it.”

For now, Able Gamer is the couple’s online escape and vehicle to help other gamers with disabilities learn what games work. Caron says neither of them are programmers so they’re using open-source templates to get the site off the ground and now they’re focusing on getting more content and reviews up.

Papineau is also well-connected with gaming companies through newsletters, so the site often gets screen shots ahead of release. The next step is for Caron to start contacting companies for interviews, and they’re even open to giving more inquisitive contributors writing privileges.

“We haven’t labelled ourselves, but I guess it's a sort of citizen journalism,” Caron said. “We have access to news and we want to share information with others. If that is what a citizen journalist is, that is what we are.”

More citizen journalist profiles:

- Heroin Addict Turned Top Writer: A Profile of Paul Wallis

- Blogging World Gives Voice to the Voiceless: A Profile of Carolyn Price

- From War-Torn Yugoslavia to a Web World: A Profile of Tea Lulic

- The 70-year-old grandmother turned citizen journalist, Cynthia T.

- The 15-year-old Web power user, Sarawanan R. (scroll down half way)