Sydney on Sept. 2, 2007. Photographer: Jack Atley/Bloomberg News image:33490:0::0

There are of course alien-abduction-like rumors that people do in fact roam the world actually being Canadian, but this is generally considered mere speculation from overwrought passport officers.

A general identification process for Canadians is now being formulated for the benefit of security-inclined people in Australia:

1. Canadians are invariably surrounded by forests. They bring a forest or so with them when traveling, usually as hand luggage, or relatives.

2. In their natural habitat they wear plaid or checks, so other Canadians can tell the difference between them and the trees. (That does actually make sense: I met a Canadian who was so big, if you saw him chopping down a redwood, you’d tell him to pick on his own size.)

3. Rural and organically inclined Canadians tend to foam at the mouth when you mention certain things, like “Monsanto”, “genetically modified canola”, and other ancient curses.

4. The subject of ice hockey can cause some religious reactions.

5. If you’re not sure, just say it’s nice to see some American tourists, and make sure your ear plugs are superglued properly.

Police have been very sensitive regarding this issue, partly because of the possible implication they lack a sense of humor, which would be quite fatal. That's the surest possible way of setting yourself up as a target in Australia.The Sydney Morning Herald and the Daily Telegraph have been having a ball with the incident, and there are Sydneysiders’ photos of the various APEC-related phenomena, and a lot of commentary. We'll get our $130 millions' worth out of this.