The answer to your butter fingers is here with the arrival of the new Waterproof Floating Phone. The handset, which is housed in waterproof plastic and has durable rubber side grips, is guaranteed to stay afloat when dropped in any pool, bathtub or sink. The buttons on the Waterproof Floating Phone are sealed to resist moisture, ensuring optimum dialing and clarity conditions when exposed to water.

The cordless Waterproof Phone features a backlit LCD with 10-number memory dialing and last number redial. (This last feature is particularly helpful if you find yourself going underwater for the third time and have forgotten to say goodbye and/or make amends to one of your nearest and dearest.)

The caller waiting feature is very convenient also, especially if your lungs are filling with water. Any considerate caller will wait their turn to speak to you. You can also program emergency numbers into the Waterproof Floating Phone, but this feature seems a bit superfluous since your emergency must be seriously in progress at the time of your need to call, and your phone (and maybe even you too) may already be underwater and unable to communicate with others.

All kidding aside, the Waterproof Floating Phone is really not meant to be used underwater as much as in, on or by the water. It is intended for “wet environments” that might otherwise damage a regular cordless or cell phone. Scuba gear and harpoons are optional, and the Waterproof Floating Phone can be yours for the mere cost of 54.95. (If you hurry, you might even be able to get it for $55)

You should also keep the Waterproof Floating Phone in mind if you are planning any jumps from bridges or trips to Niagara Falls, with or without a barrel.