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article imageOp-Ed: God and Jesus discuss Second Amendment and Hillary's future

By Barry Ellsworth     Feb 7, 2014 in Odd News
Washington - God complains about how a typo in the 2nd Amendment unleashed mass shootings and tells Jesus men have screwed up so it's time for a woman to take control.
The pair chose a table near the door, ready for a quick escape in case they were recognized.
It was God and His son Jesus. God was garbed like an old hippy, long white locks in a ponytail.
Jesus was a little more spiffy, but you could tell they were father and son.
The disguises fooling other patrons, they were in their favorite Washington, D.C., coffee shop. The occasion was their regular monthly meeting to discuss the goings-on in America, the chosen land and the origin of "God Bless America."
“What are we going to do about all these shootings, Dad?”
“Jesus Christ, I have no idea,” God replied. “One guy makes a typo and the Second Amendment says ‘the right of the people to keep and bear arms’ instead of ‘bare arms’ like the Beach Boys and the result is chaos.”
“I told you not to let that James Madison write the constitutional amendments,” Jesus said. “He was always too busy trying to make out with Dolly and gave little attention to other things.”
God looked peeved.
“It wasn’t his fault, it’s the guy who printed the thing – he made the typo,” He replied.
“Who was that?” Jesus wanted to know.
“Ted Cruz’s great-great-great grandfather, who liked to take a nip when he worked the press, like John Boehner” God said. “That Cruz family has been a pain in the butt and never more so than today, what with the g-g-g-grandson shutting down the US government. But at least he is a tea-totaller, unlike his idiot ancestor.”
God had a tendency to stutter when He became over-excited, more proof that you should not laugh at stutterers.
“OK, Dad, back to the question at hand – what are you going to do?” Jesus asked.
“Well, I let white guys be president of the United States, and still the carnage went on,” God said, thoughtfully. “Then I let a black guy run the show, and nothing much changed. So how be I put a woman in charge?”
Jesus paled.
“You mean…” Jesus began.
“Yes, Hillary Clinton for president in 2016,” God said.
“But Dad, what about Bill and that Monica thing?” Jesus said.
“The sins of the father should not be visited on the son, and that goes for the husband and the wife, too,” God admonished Jesus. “'Deuteronomy 24:16, ‘…nor shall sons be put to death for their fathers…’ is the exact quote, but it means sin isn’t passed between people. You should have known this. I knew Joseph and Mary let you skip too many Sunday school classes.”
Jesus bristled.
“I was busy in the temple thumping the moneylenders,” he protested.
God sneered.
“Yeah, sure, and Sarah Palin is the daughter of Albert Einstein,” He said.
Jesus moved on.
“So, Hillary becomes president,” he said. “You think that will help cut down on the onslaught of shootings in the United States?”
“Well, the men had their chance and didn’t do it,” God said. “It’s time to give the women a shot, pardon the pun.”
This opinion article was written by an independent writer. The opinions and views expressed herein are those of the author and are not necessarily intended to reflect those of DigitalJournal.com
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