“I’m glad you see the Grapes of Wrath comparison,” she said. Yet as a San Franciscan, this reporter was eager to get to the chapters about her arrival in the City in 1960.
She describes driving across the Golden Gate Bridge. And like many, many others who have made the trek, the cable-suspension bridge made an impression. It seemed as if it was extending its arms out in greeting. This reporter skipped back and forth through the 340-page, self-published book, eagerly soaking in the narrative of Montandon’s early life as ‘Patsy Lou’ in a strict preacher’s family trying to survive and attend to the needs of those around them in the Dust Bowl.
Immediately, her way of speaking and the scenes her words painted was like Steinbeck. The first chapter mentions Farmer Johnson who told her father, he felt like the character of Job in The Bible. The dust storm dried up his wheat crop, killed his chickens and at that moment when her father the Rev. Charles Clay Montandon stopped by, the only cow left died. “I ain’t got nothing left to feed my wife and the five little ones with,” said the grief-stricken farmer. If ever a screenwriter wanted material for a movie or a Pulitzer-winning play, “Peeing on Hot Coals” would be it.
Then just about when my heart would burst as I was on the verge of tears, with Farmer Johnson I quickly turned back to Chapter 14. I wanted to read more about Montandon’s entrance to the City and life in San Francisco. She writes “the bridge towers emerged above wispy fog, gleaming red-orange against the bright blue sky like a welcoming beacon…’Welcome Pat Montandon’ they broadcast as if from orange mouths.”
As I read on, so much was conjured up in my imagination, I could see faint correlations, something like “Unsinkable Molly Brown?” Or maybe the character of Lula Mae from Capote’s “Breakfast at Tiffany’s? Mondandon’s ‘rags to riches’ experience was exciting, touching. Her writing has a voice that is friendly, ‘down-home’ and amiable.
She talked about landmarks in a way that I remember from long ago, “Lombard – the crookedest street,” The City of Paris, I. Magnin’s, Joseph Magnins, Union Square, these references mean something to a San Franciscan. It was as if I was transported back in time to the San Francisco I knew when I was just a little kid. But then…she talked about unpleasant things, a woman being violated against her will on a date, divorce, betrayal and a charmed life abruptly halted.
I let her know that some of the things she says about some of The City’s current high society circles was not pretty. “None of those in SF whom I’ve written about has said anything to me, darlin’. Frankly I’m surprised.”
Well, maybe not this time around. But when Montandon released her “Oh The Hell Of It All,” back in 2007, the San Francisco Chronicle got quotes from those she mentioned; and of course they denied most of Montandon’s recollections as ever having even taken place.
But as mentioned in that article in The Chronicle “High Anxiety in High Society,” there was some corroboration to her 2007 publication by her son Sean Wilsey. He had written a book two years earlier in 2005 called, “Oh The Glory of It All.” And, Montandon’s book “Oh The Hell of It All” was in response to “Oh The Glory of It All.”
The New York Times noted that Sean Wilsey’s memoir was “a story of pathos and tragedy, told with humor and the kind of honesty that can get wincingly, deliciously uncomfortable.” At age 9 his parents divorced and Montandon admits in this current book that her son Sean suffered.
As someone who has walked amid many circles in San Francisco’s diverse cultural and social landscape, this reporter did not want to get caught between a “she said…and then she said…” discourse over alleged disputes, trust funds and ugly divorce court proceedings that happened more than 35 years ago.
When I asked Montandon, if there was anything she would change or do differently she responded. “I would change nothing because that is such a useless emotion, tantamount to regret. My columns for the San Francisco Examiner had more society stuff than my books did. Simply because I had a more important and focused theme in my books. When I’m called a socialite I reject the title out of hand and call is being a social-lite,” she said.
“I’ve done so many important things and things (that matter to me) since that period in my life, she said, that it’s shocking to me when my major work in the world is ignored and the more mundane parts of my life are highlighted. Actually, darlin’ I think it discredits the writer.”
Residing now in Beverly Hills she told me, “I no longer recognize San Francisco. It’s gotten bigger, colder, more crowded and seems to have lost the magic that captured me when I was younger.” Maybe it’s because I have traveled so much, she said. I have seen so much and am no longer naive. I know about the Society cliques now so I see them for what they are, shallow and competitive.”
Montandon wants to continue with her charity work and would like to be remembered for her work to promote peace. She currently working to establish her Banner of Hope Museum and pointed out that her efforts to promote peace in the world had her among the nominees for a Nobel Peace Prize.
In 2008, she received an award from Northwood University of Michigan as “A Woman of Distinction.” Speaking on behalf of the University, Arnold D’Ambrosio said, “the honorees represent the values that Northwood espouses to its students: commitment to free enterprise, partnership of arts and business, and management in a global society.” “They serve as role models and mentors for students. We here at Northwood University, he said, are very proud and honored to have Pat Montandon among our honorees.”
Taking a moment to reflect upon her early years as highlighted in the book, I asked if there was any comparison she saw between the economic meltdown of 2008 to The Great Depression. She said, “there is no comparison to be made. The Dust Bowl along with The Great Depression made it the most horrific environmental disaster ever known.”
“The combination made for a time of great difficulty as Steinbeck captured in his iconic Grapes of Wrath. That time (as a child) gave me such insights into poverty that I have never forgotten it and act accordingly. The thing I most hope readers will take away from my book is the power Evangelical preaching has on the tender minds of children. I call it on the same descriptive footing as Emotional Child Abuse.”
I was stunned when she said this. Yet Montandon when on to say, “that kind of preaching….Telling children they’ll be thrown into a lake of fire and go to hell for the least infraction…Hell, yes, that’s emotional abuse wouldn’t you say darlin’?” There was a story in the NYTimes recently about that and evangelicals touring the country to recruit people into their way of thinking. California is very different from the mid-west and the South where that kind of religion is still preached. But its also preached in certain churches right here in Los Angeles. That kind of preaching was accepted without question at the time…very little was questioned at that time, she added. But look how far we have come in ten years much less 80 years. Remember, she said, we didn’t have the Internet or a way of getting information out except by radio and local newspapers then. Or the local gossip.”
In previous interviews, like the one with designer Sunny Merry of The Leadtime.com she describes her father as “a very giving man. I think I took after him,” she told Merry. “I enjoy doing tangible things for others.”
It seems to me the recollections of her childhood have a more profound impact than talking about San Francisco. Her clarity of those Dust Bowl years pulls the reader in more, than the telling of what went wrong while living a Pacific Heights life in San Francisco.
I gently changed the subject and went back to the recollection of her early years during the Dust Bowl. In the first chapter Montandon recollects about a visit to the cemetery to visit Bettie Ruth, who died as a baby before Montandon was born. I said to her that scene, like the one about Farmer Johnson was full of honest and raw human emotion. Even though it had been some years after little baby Bettie Ruth’s death, her mother and father were still deeply saddened by the loss. Both parents still filled with grief that they both broke-down in heavy sobs and fell to the ground at the grave site. It was something that had a very deep impression upon Montandon. She then had this reflection to say about the maternal/paternal element in life.
“Parents, both father and mother, are the most important people we will ever have in our life. Good or bad, indifferent or loving,” she said. “Their impact as the first people we ever see after birth, becomes our guide for how we live.” “The images of our parents, she said, usually the father for boys and the mother for girls, stays with us and becomes our role models for better or worse unless we are strong enough and have enough insight and help to change. In my book, Malcolm (a true love in her life) was the help I got and the help I needed to release myself from the clutches of my stern mother and her religious teachings.” Montandon does say more than once in her book that her mother was not able to say she loved her.
“Peeing on Hot Coals” provides details of many things. But mostly of a way of life; large strict “church-going” families that is no more. Even the simple conventions that Montandon and her generation knew are gone now. For example, dressing up, going to church regularly. Or everyone sitting down at table having a family dinner. Most people today eat on the run. Much of contemporary life with its technology is about commuting back and forth to work. Relaxing time is not at the family dinner table but lounging in front of the TV.
Even television has changed. When Montandon hosted her own show back in the 1960’s television was not 24-7. TV had only a few channel choices and not everyone had a TV set. Today, we can put TV in our pocket, watch it anywhere thanks to mobile technology.
And, when comparing the importance of education from then to now, especially for women the contrast is striking. Montandon mentioned that when she arrived in San Francisco all she had was a high school education. Even if Montandon had been provided with the best education of that era, the roles for women in business were very limited. It is difficult to fathom that today. But In 1960 and prior to that, marriage and family was the goal much of society placed upon women. And, she does mention that for her mother and previous generations of women, the prospects of a career or a life they could map out on their own was very slim, if any at all. And, like so many women of Montanton’s generation, a working woman was only intended to work until she got married. Or, until as newlyweds the couple saved up enough money to buy a home and raise children.
Today all is much different, than when Montandon was growing up. Expectations are different. Today women are the primary breadwinners, the CEO’s of their own company, etc. And, today a woman does not have to marry just so she can leave home or better her life. It struck me almost immediately while reading her book, at how much marriage in her time was for many women the only way out of poverty.
Maybe that is why she married more than three times? Her first marriage was to a military man at 18. I was hoping to find more pearls of wisdom, especially when examining the sharp contrast between the Dust Bowl of Oklahoma to arriving to one of the most fascinating cities in the world at its most exciting of times, the 1960’s. But that deeper insight I guess gets lost amid the details of so many things. Some recollections are told with humor and others about really unpleasant incidences are ugly.
Just as I would get enthralled by one recollection that had a real wit and depth to it, other details disappointed or depressed and shocked me. One in particular was her telling of a doctor’s visit, like the date that went wrong in the last chapter. If a woman back in those days was subject to unwanted advances she had no one to turn to. Today anything like what she describes would set off major alarms immediately and the culprits would be brought to justice.
It was also very shocking to me the way in which the religious aspect of little Patsy Lou’s upbringing would shame and condemn; especially for things people today now understand as basic biological functions. Being scolded for saying the word toilet is extreme. Yet according to Montandon, that word was forbidden to be used in her childhood home. And, based upon some of the more extreme scenes she describes, that would be considered abuse if not emotional trauma.
Some of the recollections start on one subject, time and place and then jump into another. It is not completely understood that she came to the San Francisco Bay Area earlier than 1960 for a heart condition until reading almost through the entire book. The details of the really exciting and fun stuff I hope to hear about a San Francisco held dear, is not in this memoir.
To me the best of her recollections for this book are about the Dust Bowl experience. She does mention how “the Oakies” were treated when they migrated to California. That to me was also reminiscent of Steinbeck’s novel. I asked her if she saw any similarities between the migrant worker experience of the “Okies” of The Great Depression and the issues today about ‘undocumented workers.’ “Of course, that attitude about immigrants still exists,” she said.
Her experiences of the deep South were poignant at certain points, similar to what other famous writers (such as Harper Lee, Mark Twain,) have noted before – such as the bigotry, the racism, cruelty, etc. And, some recollections of that time and place in The South she describes are more than ugly, they are disturbing.
Montandon’s recollections can be profound, deep, shocking, frightening; and then shallow and profane all within a few paragraphs. More about San Francisco thru Montandon’s eyes, especially her experience as a TV personality, hosting a local show called ‘The Prize Movie’ was hard to spot. What was that like? Or what about those fabulous luncheons and parties she hosted? Again as I say, not in this book. Her recollections go back and forth which can be confusing for some. There is no index in the back of the book or references cited; so, if you wanted to look up where someone or something is mentioned, it is hard to find.
While according to the archives of previous news articles, Montandon’s divorce from the wealthy Alfred Wilsey was messy and unpleasant, it was well publicized. She survived the experience with a reported alimony settlement of $20,000.00 per month, for eight years and continued on with life. If that is so, not many women get an alimony like that, not even today, when prenuptial agreements and divorce proceedings are routine.
She told Merry last year that forgiving the past was what helped her to move on. About the divorce,”it was not okay and will never be okay,” she told Merry. “But as time went on I was given a vision. Yes, an honest to God vision, Montandon said, that led me to Russia and all over the world with young children.” (Montandon coordinated trips to promote peace by visiting world leaders and having peace rallies). “That would not have happened, she told Merry, had I not let go of the angst I felt and accepted the fact that horrific event (of the divorce) happened to me for a reason.” She dedicates “Peeing on Hot Coals” to her son Sean and her grandchildren. Sean also survived and has done well. Sean Wilsey is an accomplished editor and writer, well-received by critics – even if some critics noted flaws in his memoir.
Montandon’s current book is getting noticed. “After having so many books published by top book publishers, I decided to be my own publisher,” she said. Admitting being one’s own publisher “is a huge job…among the things I learned is that I don’t want to go that route again.”
Even if taking on the responsibility of being self-published is stressful, she is eager to promote “Peeing on Hot Coals.” Montandon hopes it will help point to and garner support for her charity work. Regardless of a few disappointments I have, the book is entertaining. I reiterate, portions of her book would make a great screenplay or Broadway production. Hopefully, a producer or screenwriter is out there watching and listening. For more information about Pat Montandon and her latest book, visit her page on Facebook.
