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Op-Ed: Company wants to offer anti-masturbation device to parents

By Robert Weller     Jun 29, 2014 in Odd News
Washington D.c. - A large American corporation wants to make sure youngsters don’t start making jerking off a hobby. Fortunately the Supreme Court has seen this issue from all sides.
The Supreme Court is scheduled to decide on Monday whether the for-profit Southern Baptist owners of Hobby Lobby can pay health insurance that includes the so-called “Anti-Masturbation cross.”
It is sort of a giant chastity belt, and is called a cross because a young boy would like it on the floor or ground. His arms would be strapped in to make sure he could not use his hands.
It is the most direct way StopMasturbationNow has found to block this practice, which can grow hair on hands and make practitioners sexual predators.
Of course the child could watch movies.
Lego builders are expected to come up with a model soon.
[url=[%22RI%3A5%22%2C%22RI%3A12%22] t=_blank]If the corporation wins its case opponents fear it could open the floodgates. Parents would be able to refuse to give vaccinations required by schools because they violate their religious beliefs.
There would be no more court orders, like there was 10 days ago in New York, allowing schools to send home students without vaccinations when certain diseases were presented.
Equally, people opposed to war for religious reasons, at least in theory, could withhold from their federal taxes whatever portion would go to war.
Workers could refuse to show up on Sunday if it violated their beliefs. For Jews it would be Saturday.
David Gans of the liberal Constitutional Accountability Center said, "corporations cannot pray, do not express devotion and do not have a religious conscience." Therefore, he argued, "the justices should reject the notion that a corporation is a person that exercises religion."
“If Hobby Lobby were to prevail, the consequences would extend far beyond the issue of contraception,” Walter Dellinger, a former acting United States solicitor general, told the New York Times.
Hobby Lobby argues its religious rights would be violated if it was forced to provide contraception as part of its insurance.
Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts may have suggested a way out. He suggested very small, closely held companies could be exempted from the Obamacare regulations.
On the other hand, the court has already ruled that corporations are effectively persons. Such an argument is often put forward by people and organizations that say the fetus has rights from the moment it is born.
And yes, the masturbation cross was a hoax that quickly was getting views on the World Wide Web.
This opinion article was written by an independent writer. The opinions and views expressed herein are those of the author and are not necessarily intended to reflect those of
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