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article imageOp-Ed: Can modern media keep out of the toilet? Apparently not

By Paul Wallis     Dec 16, 2013 in Entertainment
Sydney - The insufferable dunghill known as modern media evidently can’t keep its head out of the toilet. The subhuman inferior spawn of media workshops can’t get enough.
If you’ve ever had to endure one of those comatose infantile voiceovers warning you in its improbable tones that “…The fowwowing show contains coarse wanguage, dwugs, sex scenes, etc.”, and other simpering non-issues, you’re entitled to wonder why there’s no warning about “endless, unspeakably boring, pseudo-funny toilet scenes”.
Is modern media writing so devoid of ideas, or is it just plain ‘ol lack of intelligence and talent?
Even on genuinely funny shows like The Simpsons, the toilet, somehow, has become a magnet for comedy. At least The Simpsons managed to make the toilet jokes funny. Bart is introduced to the Coriolis Effect, rings Australia to find out which way the water flushes, and goes to Australia to apologize after creating a diplomatic incident. (We haven’t forgotten, Simpson…)
Another reference to toilets was Henry Kissinger dropping his glasses down the toilet. This was more a reference to Kissinger than toilets, including the infamous Paris Peace Accord. Funny, and specifically not in relation to the use of toilets.
A brief history of toilet humor
Toilet humor is usual among very young kids. After age 5, you’re supposed to have grown out of it and perhaps even have grown a vocabulary. In the 1980s, toilet humor was really punk humor, funny for about 20 minutes until the audience (and performers) got sick of it. It had a brief revival with “sound effects” vocals, making farting noises on talk shows. Another 10 minutes well spent.
At one stage, toilet "egalitarianism" was an actual class war thing. The theory was that defecation was a common denominator human thing. (Can't agree. If it was many people wouldn't be alive today.) The idea was that this put you on a par with Da Vinci, etc. Smart, eh?
Meanwhile, in media and particularly online, toilet humor has become an industry. A search on Google for toilet humor got 10 million results, not least of which were ongoing contributions.
To hell with prudery. Are people really supposed to watch this garbage? I’ve seen god knows how many shows in which tasteful shots of toilets, in all states of hygiene, are part of the story lines. Perhaps they’ll even rewrite Hamlet to include the plumbing?
I’m a writer. If people claiming to be adults are prepared to pay for this trash, all well and good. People who pay for things like that don’t need money. They need shooting. I’m fine with that. It’s being expected to watch it that annoys me.
Which frat brat media buyer decided this was product? What geriatric clown thinks it’s humor? What are you going to do, start up merchandising franchises for toilets? “Dungballs R Us” outlets?
I think I’m fairly safe in saying that the public’s expectations of TV and Hollywood couldn’t get any lower. We have two multi-billion dollar industries hiding behind special effects and ridiculous, verbose sex. Nothing new there. Never has been, and never will be. What used to be forms of entertainment are now forms of DIY euthanasia. The trouble is, this is actually worse, impossible as that should be.
I’m not about to give these dismal excuses for media productions any sort of specific publicity. You can find them for yourself, or try to avoid them if you can.
Another point, toilet trolls- The Simpsons, you ain’t. Nor are you Alfred Hitchcock. The comparison should tell you everything you need to know. You might also try to figure out what a toilet does, and take appropriate action to manage your materials.
This opinion article was written by an independent writer. The opinions and views expressed herein are those of the author and are not necessarily intended to reflect those of
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