In homage to one of the most wonderful British comics ever. Ronnie Barker was an irreverent and inventive comic genius whose fondness for word-plays was a constant source of sketch material for him. His version of Cinderella is probably one of the funniest stories I have ever read and many people would surely say the same. He is quoted as saying flippantly that he wrote it this way for a BBC comedy show back in the 70’s because that was the only way to get his particular version past the BBC foul language censors. And to think that although there were very few complaints back then, this would outrage many people today! That's political correction for ya'.
He died in 2005 at the age of 76. Here’s to you Ronnie, you were a really class act, one of the best.
Rindercella and her Sugly Isters
"Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot.
At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were right bugly astards.. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fatty swannies.
The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but
the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks. The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.
At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.
The very next day, the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in.. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let
off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted?" asked the prandsome hince."Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge.
When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.
Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on. He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny!"
(This is him on TV with more word games. He knew a lot about hieroglyphics too, and he is, I imagine, the inventor of hieroglyphic word-games…soooo funny!)