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27 World Leaders "Fed up with Complaints" to Resign Tomorrow

By Michael Cosgrove
Posted Oct 13, 2010 in Politics
Barack Obama, Angela Merkel, David Cameron They are just three of the 27 major world leaders who will resign tomorrow in protest at their citizens’ never ending complaints against anything and everything they do.
Not only that, but their governments will all stand down with them because they are all sick to death of “whining know-it-all critics who sit behind computers paid for by unemployment benefit” as one Dutch minister put it. Opposition parties will do the same. Their attitude was best summed up by a Canadian opposition party coalition spokesman who said “If you think we’re dumb enough to take over this f****** mess you can think again.”
French leader Nicolas Sarkozy said that “Any country whose schoolkids go on strike is ungovernable. I’m outta here.” Cameron, who initially believed that any criticism of his government would be aimed at his wimpy and arrogant little shit of a joint PM, Nick Clegg, lamented “But it didn’t work out like that. I even get blamed for his cock-ups!” he complai..sorry, declared.
Italian mafia godfather Sylvio Berlusconi blamed the press and his pay. “Even my own damn press is turning against me! And I could make ten times as much in just one day of corrupting officials as I do in a year as PM.”
But it is Barack Obama, who is currently in hiding in Chicago, where everyone has forgotten what he looks like, who probably has the most compelling reasons to leave office, and he is quoted as saying that “I have twice as many problems as the others. Not only do I have the Republicans on my back, I also have all those self-hating dope-smoking armchair revolutionaries against me too. Christ, they don’t even want me to have any wars to fight! What is that?! Why should I be the only president in the history of the USA not to have the chance to send off young good-fer-nuthin’s off to get themselves killed for him?! Huh? This job isn't what it used to be. I mean hey, George had wars all over the place! It ain't fair I tell you. (Sniff.)”
Other fed up to the back teeth of the whole goddam business leaders include those of Sweden (no longer best country in world, serves them right, the arrogant little bastards), Australia (the whole world ignores them, and so it should) and Pakistan (blamed for bad cricket team. Corrupt too may I add.)
Those interested in being their country’s leader or a senior politician may apply for the job by email to their local job center. Any takers?

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