1 ... for Military hardware vendors : We don't waste time on tenders and auctions. We pay the asking price ! And we love extended maintenance contracts.
2 ... for Those seeking the protection of a Big Brother : Geographically, we sit on top. Practically, we will always be under the American shadow (of security). NORAD is just icing on the cake.
3 ... for Hollywood : Thank goodness for Hollywood North, CanWest Global and the BC Film and Television Tax Credit. Where would they, otherwise, shoot those supernatural and cult series with the obligatory gloomy and cloudy atmosphere.
4 ... for Bollywood : In GTA and Greater Vancouver, Abhishek and Aishwarya are stalked by the paparazzi as much as Brad and Angelina.
5 ... for Shady immigration consultants : You can still make a good living here while the grandstanding and grandfathering continues during the crackdown.
6 ... for Wannabe terrorists : You can hone your craft here as long as you don't boast about it too much. We are still under the impression here that we are nice enough not to have any enemies.
7 ... for Polygamists Multiple wives collectors : We won't stone you to death. Just enjoy your booties quietly. We have better things to do than combing rural flatlands and hills.
8 ... for White-collar criminals : Wall Street and stock exchanges may have been run like casinos in the U.S. up until 2008 but they have convicted more than 1200 rogue CEOs, CFOs and VPs since then. Our Integrated Market Enforcement Teams (IMETs), with all the power of the RCMP behind them, have gone much easier and scored 2 convictions out of the 26 charged between 2004 and 2009. The water is still warm ... come on down !
9 ... for Ice hockey lovers : You can drop the "Ice" and pretend that field hockey doesn't exist. If you are a player, you can also brush up on your boxing skills during the de facto endorsed brawls on the ice court (Better have a good dental plan though).
10 ... for G-20 planners : We are the best place to wine and dine on hosting citizens' dole. Sure beats shaky videoconferencing over Skype.
The F-135 Joint Strike Fighter
Credit / CYA : The preceding is a piece of creative writing conceived at the observation deck of my memory bank using my own words (subject to conscious or subconscious inclusion of preexisting terms, phrases and punchlines).