A while ago “Sunshine” on mySpace asked an interesting question that I have been bouncing around in my head trying to come up with an uplifting response. The question was essentially how does a couple connect again after they have been growing apart?
The place to start, as I touched on in my last blog, is to focus on the details of your relationship both past and present. Couples that are in trouble will literally avoid any kind of conversation that relates to how they originally met, how they fell in love, and so on. This is done out of selfishness protection because remembering that there was a time when you would have jumped in front of train to protect her when you no longer can even open a door for her will cause... well... mental discomfort.
In order to drift apart or to maintain any kind of distance between you and your partner you first must make sure that you forget (or at least block) the very things that brought you together it the beginning.
If you want to start growing together you BOTH must start remembering the good times. You BOTH must start paying attention to the details of your relationship. When everything positive and detailed goes out the window then we will simply make a villain out of the other to justify why you are acting so rude.
Now here comes the hard part. As I said in the beginning I did not write about this originally because I wanted to figure out a positive and uplifting answer to the question. The problem is that I can’t.
Once a relationship begins to break apart it is very hard to pull it back together because it will require an effort on both sides. It simply cannot be held together by one side only. A great example of this would be the whole bad boy scenario.
A bad boy projects an image of being strong, but in reality they are very weak. So weak that they literally feed off of the energy of the women with ever growing appetite. A woman involved in this kind of relationship will eventually become exhausted while she gives of herself constantly and he provides nothing in return. Without both sides putting in a equal amount of energy into a relationship there is simply no way for it to survive, Well, it will survive but it will suck to be in it.
You can exist within a terrible relationship like this for years and is, unfortunately, more common then you would think.I think that something that has been lost in our enlightened modern world is that a relationship is a two way street. If you partner begins to act like a bozo then you are going to be effected, and vice versa.
If you and your partner are drifting away from each other and you BOTH want to fix things then pay attention this week. In the next two blogs I will give you plenty to think about.
Seek Joy
- Erin scott
www.energyofromance.com
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