In the last blog I went into detail regarding why women take their day off to get various parts of their body plucked, waxed, and simply ripped out. The reason discussed is that doing these things tie into womens femininity and makes you feel better about yourself and the world around you, and that is a good thing.
However, the question on the table is why do women do this when men don’t pay any attention to it?
First of all the man in your life may have noticed but is unable to put his finger on what has changed. He may acknowledge that you look pretty and even sexier, but because in our world the plucking and the painting do not exist and it is not what we look for immediately. Second, the mind of a man is substantially more segmented than yours and therefore we may not notice everything when it is first presented. Let me explain.
A womans mind is like a large studio in which everything about her life is taking place at the same time and in the same room. The kids are there, her coworkers are there, her relationships both past and present have all taken up residency in this one room. To deal with all of this, women have become better than men at multi-tasking. A man’s mind is much more like an office building in which each aspect of his life exist in their own little room. There is a love room, there is a work room, there is a Playstation 3 room and so on. It is this segmented mind that allow men to be better at focusing then women.
One reason he did not notice the changes you made is because mentally he is in his work room and focused on something else. Later on, when he mentally walks into his relationship room, he may notice that you are indeed less hairy in all the right places than when he saw you last.
However, this is only a legitimate reason some of the time. If the guy you are with does not notice your efforts all of the time then I am willing to bet he is missing much more than your beauty routine. He is most likely missing many other things that you are doing for him also. If this is the case, then this may be a very serious sign that there is an iceberg in the water.
A few years back there was a woman I knew that was feeling like this with her husband. She was worn out because she felt like she was the only one putting any effort into her marriage. I gave her a few suggestions to get his attention but nothing worked and within a very short time they were divorced. The problem with the relationship was that while she was still in it, he had checked out. The same situation played out with another friend of mine when he was interested in holding everything together while mentally she already had her bags packed. They were also divorced a short time later.
When you stop becoming a priority in the others life then you are on a very slippery slope. It is at this point that many relationships flatline and exist for years in a dull grey world that neither wants to be a part of. One of the tricks when counseling married couples is to have them talk about their past and see how many details they remember about their spouse. Couples in trouble block the details so that they can mentally create a false picture of their spouse that they do not love, and can eventually grow to hate. In one case study I read the man did not know the name of the families pet or even where the back door was in his own house!
When the details of your life together fade away then its a good bet that you are beginning to pack your bags.
Seek Joy
- Erin
www.energyofromance.com
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