Ball players say the funniet things

Earl Weaver, after one of his born-again Christian players asked if the Baltimore manager wanted to walk with God: "I'd rather walk with the bases loaded." Pittsburgh outfielder Steve Kemp: "The only people in the U.S. who had a worse night than me died." After 10 years, John Watham was released by the Royals. Moments later, he was named a team coach. Asked about his new position: "The game has changed a lot since I played. Joaquin Andujar, Pluto-circling pitcher: "Baseball can be summed up by one word: `You never know.'" Yogi Berra, famed malapropist: "This is the earliest I've been late." And, shaking hands with Ernest Hemingway after being introduced to the author: "What paper you write for, Ernie?" Submarine relief pitcher Dan Quisenberry: "Most pitchers fear losing their fastball, and since I don't have one, the only thing I have to fear is fear itself." Boston pitcher Bob Stanley, upset over a local newspaper story: "I'm going to cancel my prescription." Reds pitcher Clay Carroll to teammate Pedro Borbon: "Hey, Pedro, how do you say `adios' in Spanish?" Jerry Willard, Cleveland catcher, told Minnesota had won a doubleheader: "Who won the first game?" Chicago coach Don Zimmer when asked, upon regaining consciousness after taking a fall, who was president before Ronald Reagan: "I don't know. I didn't know before I fell either." Jerry Coleman, voice of the Padres: "Rick Folkers is throwing up in the bullpen." Also from Coleman: "There's a fly ball deep to centre field. Winfield is going back, back. He hits his head against the wall. It's rolling back toward second base. This is a terrible thing for the Padres." Lefty Gomez, when New York papers called him a holdout because he'd asked the Yankees for more money: "That isn't true. The Yankees are the holdouts. I asked first." Bobby Cox, after a wind-blown triple with the bases loaded caused the Blue Jays to lose Game 7 in the 1985 American League championship series: "It wasn't experience that beat us. It was the wind. That and the fact that our bats went south on us and we are north.'' Rocky Bridges, infielder: "I know what the word `media' means. It's plural for `medio-cre.'" Tug McGraw, queried whether he preferred grass or Astroturf: "I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf." And, for the sheer Zen of it, this exchange between a reporter and Cincinnati outfielder Alex Johnson: Reporter: "You hit only two home runs all last year, and already you've hit seven this year. What's the difference?'' Johnson: "Five."