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Blog Posted in avatar   André R. Gignac's Blog

Statistics Canada finally says something that pleases Conservatives

By André R. Gignac
Posted Dec 4, 2012 in Politics
Criminals have been busy and more violent in 2010-2011, according to reports in the media. It was announced this morning that the number of homicides in Canada has gone up for the first time in three years. With 598 murders in 2011, it is an increase of 44 cases over the preceding year.
Oh my. It only confirms the Conservatives' fixation on Canada being a dangerous country. That's where the idea of new prisons comes from, and that's what they had in mind, a couple of years back, when they tried to sow doubt about the old numbers in Statistics Canada's reports about crime supposedly going down. You may remember that they almost convinced us - after all, we reelected them! - about those crimes under-reported or not reported at all, which of course was sort of making a lie out of reports saying that life was good under the sun.
Never, until then, had a national statistics service been kicked around like this by a government, to the point of losing its cherished census form and seeing its chief depart for more rational lands. The message in all of this, which has been confirmed many times since, is that one should never contradict a Conservative, even less so when he's in government.
The irony is, this increase in homicides was announced by... Statistics Canada. But this time, the government will applaud the findings, and consequently Statistics Canada's budget will be saved, and there won't be any cuts of jobs at its main office. Now armed with the proper numbers, Conservatives will point a finger at us and say: we told you, Canada is becoming a playground for hardened criminals. So, another omnibus bill will be tabled in parliament, and more funds will be urgently requested to deal with this situation. If opposition parties start asking too many questions, Stephen Harper will shut down parliament long enough to allow the Conservative Party to prepare ads denouncing the opposition as anti-democratic.
New prisons will appear everywhere. And if there's a lack of space at one point (because most of the country has already been bought by corporations), Conservatives will of course turn again to the private sector. A company will offer a very original idea to improve its shareholders' profits margin: To move its administrative offices, sleeping mats and prisoner cells onto the ice at the Bell Centre. Because, as you know, not much profit is made on the ice, right now.
Full occupation and high profits will be guaranteed. As every Conservative knows, numbers do not lie. Take all the crimes reported, add to it the number of crimes unreported, and throw in the increase announced today. Already, half of the prison cells will be occupied. As for the other half, no worry, the Conservative government has already a list of dangerous terrorists: members of environmental groups; masked protesters; charitable organizations; women's health organisations; asylum seekers; some media; union members; anyone who complains about capitalism; and of course any scientist whose numbers and facts are not supported by the State.

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