Anyone who is intimately aware of the recent political history of South Africa knows one thing: the ANC has devolved. As a political movement, in terms of their leaders, and in every other way imaginable.
The question is: is there anywhere the ANC can go to salvage what was once lauded as the liberation movement that would elevate South Africa to the position they should hold on the 'dark continent'.
I believe that there is no one, but let's take a closer look at the pretenders to the throne I believe was last legitimately occupied by Madiba.
Jacob Zuma. Polygamist. Acquitted rapist. Grade 4 graduate. Accused of corruption. Ignorant of HIV. Living large. Racist who sings Dubul Ibhunu at official party functions.
The only thing I think old JZ has going for him is being 'the devil we know.' We KNOW he is ineffectual. We KNOW he's corrupt. We KNOW he's just towing the party line because a man with six wives and twenty odd kids needs to earn a presidential salary.
Cyril Ramaphosa and Tokyo Sexwale. Mega wealthy, trade union stalwarts, capitalists.
These two are probably the least scary on the surface. However, if you're a dyed in the wool capitalist, what would you do if you were given a country like South Africa to run?
Between these two, they own shares in some of the biggest companies in South Africa - including Lonmin. I can't help but picture Nazi style work camps, where human 'numbers' work to churn out the next Mac burger or Platinum ring... scary!
Then there's everyone's famous demagogue in the making - Juju himself. Julius Malema. Putting the dick in ridiculous since 2007.
This man wants blood, however, so as much as I make fun of him for being what he is - a fat, stupid, pathetic excuse for a politician, I can't help but feel a chill when I consider the possibility that he COULD become president of South Africa.
If that happens, then all of my very worst fears for South Africa will come true, without a doubt.
The thing is though, in any ordinary country, voting works by reasonably persuading reasonably educated voters that you are the best person to give them what they reasonably expect from their country.
In South Africa, politics works by persuading people you have deliberately kept stupid that you will give them a mansion and an X5, along with the free T-shirt and KFC you gave them. Along with mouthing hate speech against minorities of course.
My deepest hope for South Africa is that someone like Moeletsi Mbeki could one day lead South Africa. An educated, reasonable man.
That's not going to happen soon though, so for now, I am hoping that JZ gets his second term. He may be terrible as a president, but he's a known quantity.
Cry the beloved country,