‘The I Want To Keep It simple Kind of Holiday’ or ‘I’m Broke This Year But Will Not Let Down My Family’
We, in Canada, pursue our work with great tenacity to achieve the absolute symbol of wealth…to answer the call & lure of the great outdoors of this great land. The Great Canadian Camping Trip. It is the only right Canadian thing to do, eh? Yes, our first adventures seem a little primitive and simple yet we proudly head down the highway with our station wagon packed to the nuts and legs stretched everywhere. The first sign of trouble is when the first question comes from the back seat…Wake us up when we get there, okay Johnnykins?’ I always know when they use my name like an adjective the camp games have just begun. With tent in trunk we pursue our special campground. We honestly believe no one else we know knows about our’ ‘special’ place except us. We secretly feel challenged and excited to seek anywhere with a fancy name. For instance, take ‘Pancake Mountain’…named by a famous bush pilot. I wonder what happened to this pilot, eh? Every visiting Canadian will have a different story. And how about ‘Little Mink Pass’…named by an old northern trapper. Was it because the mink were small or every time he had a bad season he would scream madly from his cabin “come here you —dam little mink, your not passin’ by my door without a visit and your days are numbered anyway!”, or wild animal names such as Great Bear Lake. Something tells me no one saw a great sized bear just appear from out of the depths of that vast cold Canadian lake and walk on the surface of the lake to the shore to the amazement of all watching. As a matter of fact this great Canadian has fished this lake and it has some of the best trophy Lake Trout you would ever find in the entire world. Why is it not named Great Trout Lake? This is what makes this land called Canada so great, eh?! We obviously do not have a clue why we named anything. Great Canadian Maturity proves that names and locations on our maps could be one of two things; highly accurate or highly in-accurate, depending on 1) who chose to name it (I’m sure they must be Canadian, eh?), 2) how much of a sense of humor they had that day (Boy, do we have a sense of humor!), 3) it was the only way anyone including the finder would ever remember where the hell this particular spot is ever again. I’ll leave you to wonder the rest and imagine some of the other names; Mosquito Lake, Big Trout Lake, Beavertail Creek, Loon River, Babine Lake, Old Wives Lake, Gold Pan Creek…I’m sure you get the picture. Just be sure to have as good an imagination as any proud Canadian and you’ll be fine. A case in point: A trip to Mosquito Lake proves itself once you arrive. Within minutes of arriving, my wife recalls of childhood adventures, every mosquito in the vast expanse of Canada arrived to welcome her families’ arrival. The only problem was, they decided to stay for the entire families holiday festive experience. The simplest task of seeking tranquility in the outdoors then became a test of the true ‘Canadian’ family spirit. Sleeping in the tent, cooking on the open fire, quick trips to the washroom(outhouse!), playing cards at the picnic table, or taking the dingy out for an hour of fishing all proved easy to plan yet hard to attempt let alone master. Sanity became the primary objective to keep in place for everyone. Every great Canadian knows this only too well! Constant swatting, smacking, endless bottles of stinky repellant, endless waking hours at night listening to their flight runs all directly aimed at your face and any other possible bodily part remotely accessible. Modern radar and satellite GPS systems have nothing on those bastards. There isn’t a spot left untouched on the entire human body by these blood-sucking adventure capitalists. Now just imagine waking in the morning to the simple yet proudly Canadian truth you are not going anywhere for the next week. And this is only one of the many planned trips for the season adventures of a true Canadian, the only other planned trip to the closest town drug store for medication to ease the insect attacks and to the closest liquor store for internal relief of a more Canadian spiritual manner to muster the strength to war against the great insect attack, one more day.
To be continued…eh?