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Blog Posted in avatar   Tim O'Brien's Blog

You Can't Make These Up

By Tim O'Brien
Posted Jan 1, 2012 in Odd News
No matter what day of the year it is, stuff happens.
Colorado: yeah, this is one of those ideas we always here. "All we have to do is start small" or "every little thing help." Not this time. In Breckenridge, in an effort to save energy they will be turning off street lights and then removing them. Do not remove them right away. Turn them off for a while and then remove them. Hmmm. back to this item. The plan, it has been reported, will save enough energy to light five houses for a year. Come on. Are you serious here? Next year at this time we will hear that crime has risen in this community.
California: San Diego has been getting much needed tuna for science. Now, that same tuna is being donated to a food pantry. No word on what the tuna went through before being turned over.
Pennsylvania: A Pittsburgh eye glass store owner is seeking help to find the people who stole frames. If you have seen anything, you most likely were not affected by this robbery.
California: after 35 years, the Wildlife Way Station in Los Angeles is finished because donations are down. However, tell that to the animals that are there. The list includes 420 animals; 42 chimps, a Kodiak bear, 20 tigers, and a large, no, make that, a huge bison. It weighs in at 1,500 pounds. Do not send them to Ohio.
Illinois: in the "here we go again" with this story comes the mall from the "Blues Brothers" film. It may be knocked down. It opened in 1966 and closed in 1979. Hey, what is is still doing there now. Oh yeah, it was in the movie that, if I can remember back then, the film company had some trouble paying for what they did to it. Did to a vacant mall. Hmmm...enough of this. Demolish away.
Kansas: the Topeka Zoo can claim success after extensive tests on an orangutan turned up sinusitis. We can all breath easy until you realize the orangutan underwent a CAT scan, was evaluated by a cardiologist, and others who specialized in eyes, nose and throat specialities. Huh? Now I know where I'm going to get treated - - a zoo. I'm sure the orangutan doesn't have insurance. Wait, it may and that would be more troubling than all those tests that were requested and performed.
Iindiana: in Indianapolis, school was called off but not for weather. No, batteries were taken from the buses and apparently no one there has ever heard of a car pool.
Washington, D.C.: Artists have been asked to file for a $50,000 art project to be erected at the corner of two streets. It it to be a totem pole. As of right now, no one has asked why the heck a totem pole would cost $50,000.
Illinois: a Chicago was busted for smoking. Nope, not quite. He was busted for burglary recently because his DNA was found on a cigarette butt left at the scene. Honestly, I am surprised this doesn't happen more often. Smokers feel the world is their ashtray as butts are all over. This item is not done. One item of note that he stole was a blue pillowcase. Yep, that was worth it, wasn't it?
Colorado: Hunters have been sidetracked by a law saying they cannot use sound devices that mimic cougars in distress. When told they could simply use them in bars, especially useful on weekends, they went on their way. Meanwhile, cougars are pretty good at spotting their prey in bars as well.
Maryland: relax, we have been told that it was heavy rains from spring, not in September, that killed those oysters.The upper bay was too fresh and killed them. I repeat too fresh. Must of needed a little more global warming.