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article imageThe Slow Death Of Cinema

By Hipster1     Sep 26, 2006 in Lifestyle
Movies Should be The best form of expression that we have in the modern age... HOWEVER NOT THE CASE!
When I was a young boy I grew to love the movies. The entire experience has always been able to spark something special in me that nothing else could, however, lately the cinema seems to be over populated with Remakes, Sequel/Prequels, and just plain terrible movies.
The idea behind remaking something is to make it better, to improve on what came before it but the list of terrible remakes could circle the globe twice. It just makes no sense to me I am baffled that people like George Clooney and Denzel Washington think that they can take something Frank Sinatra did and make it better (Oceans 11, Manchurian Candidate) or that Marky Mark could ever, EVER be better than Charlton Heston. I have a little bone to pick with Tim Burton because its bad enough he remade planet of the apes badly but then he decided he was going to ruin Willy Wonka as well Charlie and the Chocolate Factory could have been the best movie of the next ten years and it still would have paled in comparison next to the original throw as many technical special effects and green screened nonsense I will take Gene Wilder over Johnny Depp any day. Remakes do nothing but sully the faces of their predecessors and waste my time
The Sequel in itself seems like a great idea, we loved the first one so much we’re sure to love the second one or even a third, because then it’s a trilogy and we as a people love a trilogy Back to the Future, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings et cetera et cetera but when you make 4 Letha Weapons, and 4 scary movies and 4 Batmans (im not including Batman begins, because for once someone in Hollywood slipped and did something right!) WHY OH WHY did Val Kilmer and George Clooney decide to commit there terrible Bruce Wayne’s onto celluloid? Money, Cash, Cheddar, bread, Clams, mucho dinero! That’s what it is all about these film companies will squeeze the life out of anything that they can I mean for go sakes they made a Miss Congeniality 2!! Rocky 5 or as I like to call it the movie that was never made was the unmitigated winner of worst sequel ever in the span of cinema it’s the worst it has no redeeming qualities and now there making a ROCKY 6: ROCK BALBOA!!! Where the hell do these people get off how do they sleep at night?! They know, they know we all hate sequels and prequels but they make them anyway because even though I know that Rocky 6 is almost certainly going to be terrible I will go and see it anyway with the hope that maybe, just maybe it will rise about the rest and land in the elite group of sequels and prequels that are good (Episode III, Godfather Part II, Batman begins and the list kind of ends there)
A Bad movie is like a fart in church, no one knows how to react so they either get mad or laugh at how terrible it is! I give anyone who writes a screenplay with an original angle and gets it produced the highest regard it takes allot to make a movie I know and if you in your heart of hearts think you movie am good then good for you. That being said a bad movie is still a bad movie and these people that wrote the movie should have done a better job. I work at a pizza place and I have to tell you if I make allot of bad pizzas I would get fired because of the bad job I was doing, so why cant we institute that into movie making we can make it a three strike system first bad movie you get a letter letting you know that you only have two more strikes, the second time you should be fined, you can still make movies but you lose the money you made for said bad movie and then if you make a third terrible movie its over you are never allowed to make movies again. We should start with National Lampoon with there stock pile of direct to DVD or in the theatre for a day films. Listen to me National Lampoon; YOU ARE NEVER, EVER GOING TO MAKE ANOTHER ANIMAL HOUSE! SO STOP TRYING!!!!
Dorm Daze? Senior trip? Seriously knock it the hell off!
Yet, we still go all of us we flock to see the latest Larry the Cable guy or Scary Movie and we think noting of it but it is time for everyone to wake up and realize to absolutely terrible movies are and it is time that we all do something about it. I am seriously considering rising an army up against these production companies that green light all of these projects! The cinema is a grand and beautiful thing and should be treated like it we need movies with substance, movies that make people think or at least laugh for a series of moments it isn’t meant to be a killing zone, a promotional tool, rhetoric and nonsense it is meant to be ENTERTAINMENT if I wanted to see war I would turn on the news if I wanted to sex I have pay channels if I wanted to see a biography I would open a book like a sensible being not pay ten dollars because as good as they are Jamie Foxx and Joaquin Phoenix are never going to be Ray Charles or Johnny Cash. I want fiction I want ridiculous moments and funny situations and I want a happy ending I don’t need to sit through 2 ½ hours and not get a damn happy ending.
They are slowly killing movies they are murdering Cinema and nobody is charging them with the crime we are all just sitting and taking it not me, not anymore, I am going to make my own movie and when it is as bad as all the rest and I’ve sold out I will shut my mouth and count my money but until then I want all my money back for all the terrible movies I have had to see I am sick and tired of being an accomplish to the death of cinema. It ends today!
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