If you haven't heard of Emmerdale
, it is the imaginary village that has more murders per square yard than Belfast and Beirut combined.
This week Emmerdale
sees yet another funeral, though this time of an old codger from natural causes. Who is the mourner in handcuffs though? His daughter who is serving a life sentence for murder. One can just imagine her saying "It's nice 'ere, innit?" If you missed the cultural reference, the actress who plays this femme fatale
is the girl from Luton Airport, well, Deptford actually, Lorraine Chase
Not to be outdone, there is at least one more on the way in the BBC's long running EastEnders
. This was actually promised for last week
, but it has been switched now to Halloween; that's not the only thing that appears to have been switched, according to Digital Spy
, so has the identity of the victim.
The odious Michael was planning to murder the equally odious Janine, and had manipulated sweet, innocent little Alice into delivering the fatal dose. Realising she'd been tricked, Alice may still be sweet but she is innocent no more, as she proved when on moving to kiss his cheek she delivered a well aimed knee to the gonads leaving him writhing in pain on the floor as she walked out of the door, but apparently not out of his life, although if Digital Spy
is to be trusted, his life will soon be over.
There may well be another murder in Coronation Street
at some point. One of its cast, Chris Fountain
, was recently given the push for behaviour unbecoming off-set. Viewers were advised that his exit would be an angry one, flying into a rage when he found his mercurial girlfriend Tina had invited her homeless former lover to stay. Alas, Mr Fountain's heresy was so great that his exit was reported secondhand; he wasn't even allowed to show his face.
Tina appears to have gone into meltdown mode over something that sprung up out of nowhere. She has cooled her temper for the moment, although she is still simmering under the surface, but rumour has it
that she could be the victim rather than the perpetrator. That might just be because she has crossed swords with the wrong woman, as regular viewers will realise.