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article imageOp-Ed: Australian literacy rates, or what a joke

By Paul Wallis     Sep 19, 2013 in Lifestyle
Sydney - The moronic, overpaid, subhuman animals running Australian education seem to be consistent. Recent findings indicate that about half of the state of Tasmania is functionally illiterate and innumerate, and the rest of the country’s not much better.
This is one of the reasons being an Australian writer’s so much fun.
Note: I’m writing using “words” and “sentences,” so this information will remain secret.
ABC Australia:
One in two Tasmanians aged 15 to 74 are functionally illiterate, and more than half are functionally innumerate.
Dr Ben Jensen is director of the School Education program at the Grattan Institute.
He says the situation has reached a point where there should be a specialist literacy and numeracy teacher in every school in Tasmania and small schools should be closed.
The rest of the nation’s trying hard to reach Tasmanian standards, apparently.
According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics 2011-2012report:
Approximately 7.3 million (44 percent) Australians aged 15 to 74 years had literacy skills at Levels 1 or 2, a further 6.4 million (39 percent) at Level 3 and 2.7 million (17 percent) at Level 4/5. For the numeracy scale, approximately 8.9 million (55 percent) Australians were assessed at Level 1 or 2, 5.3 million (32 percent) at Level 3 and 2.1 million (13 percent) at Level 4/5.
(Level 1 is the lowest. Use crayon to describe the rest.)
What the hell are we paying you morons for?
This is beyond appalling. It’s catastrophic. We spend billions on education. Education is actually one of our exports. Ironically, we apparently educate more foreigners than Australians. Education, for those endearing scum who don’t know, is also the basis of competition and a working economy.
Education is a very large sector in Australia. Some would say it’s an insular sector, others would say it’s a natural evolution of a particularly unimpressive rock into something which looks different but is equally intelligent.
My view is that both perspectives have missed the point, like the education system: Obviously, it’s not educating people. A 50-50 chance of education at the prices charged by Australian educational institutions is simply obscene. Add to this the self-righteousness of some “educators,” and it becomes an obscenity blessed with farce.
There are a few social positives and some consolations:
It explains Australian TV.
It explains a business sector which is based on micromanagement, not results.
It explains why information which is just plain wrong gets traction.
We could simply declare the entire country to be a sheltered workshop, and tourists could come and pay to guess who are the inmates and win prizes.
Obviously, it’s the students’ fault. Naturally, they want to earn 90 percent less than they could if they knew how to understand information.
Dumbing down the population? We should be so lucky
The theory of dumbing down the population has a lot of elbow room in conspiracy theories. These stats tell a different story.
This is a generational result. It’s obviously systemic. New generations of incompetent, deluded vermin have arisen to take up the burden of not educating Australians.
The dumbing down seems to be of the teachers as much as anyone else. Only a true, genetically adapted species of ignoramuses could consider kids who can barely keep track of conversations a good result.
Doesn’t matter how bright those kids are, they’re the result of their education. They should get pensions, as well as degrees. A lot of them are basically handicapped by their education, from what I see on a daily basis. Some gravitate to politics, and the dumb, of course, think that dumb is normal. So the cycle repeats.
How to handle a duhhh… problem
You decaying vegetables are supposed to be educating kids. Do so. Now. There are problems? Solve them. There are costs? How about a 50 percent cut in your apparently unearned salaries to help pay for the problems you’ve created?
How about outsourcing admin, and putting education online where it belongs?
Or getting rid of the middle strata of do nothing bureaucrats?
There are all sorts of answers, and even you priceless dunghills might be literate enough to understand them.
Fix it, you bludgers. You know where you can stick the excuses.
This opinion article was written by an independent writer. The opinions and views expressed herein are those of the author and are not necessarily intended to reflect those of
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