One night when Michelle Obama was suffering from a migraine she used the N word to her husband. NO.
That's as funny as this op-ed gets, but you gotta laugh at the F.A. In case you didn't know, F.A. stands for Football Association
. And Sweet F.A. means...a young girl battered to death by Frederick Baker, who was hanged for her murder on Christmas Eve, 1867. What else did you think it meant? Oh yeah.
Football, the misnamed beautiful game, has a bad reputation. Not because of Welsh international striker and convicted rapist Ched Evans
; not because of some of the terrible fouls that are seen regularly by fans the world over - here is a timeless compilation
from 2007. No, football, English football in particular, is so poorly thought of because of the racial abuse with which black players are allegedly bombarded incessantly, like the racial epithet John Terry didn't use
against Anton Ferdinand. One of Terry's greatest critics was a certain Paul Elliott, whose express desire was to make football a totally racism
free zone, although it is not clear if by that he included missing white woman syndrome
, that could have landed David Beckham in trouble on account of his appeal on behalf of Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman
back in August 2002.
Alas, for Mr Elliott, it was a case of do as I say, not as I do; earlier this year he resigned his post
with the FA after using the dreaded N word himself. If that doesn't raise a laugh, how about Reginald D. Hunter? If you haven't heard of him, he is a black American from the Deep South; he has that rich Southern drawl that adds character to a voice, and he is an alternative comedian, although unlike many alternative comedians he is actually funny - Caitlin Moran
, take note.
Alas, the Football Association didn't see the funny side after hiring him to perform at their annual bash. Probably they thought hiring a black comedian was politically correct. Alas, they are now thinking again, because guess what taboo word he used during his performance? More than once, apparently! Afterwards, hiring him was said to have been a huge mistake
. Well, maybe not, because he is currently on tour in the UK, and from his official website
, it looks like he is fully booked.
If you can't make one of his shows for whatever reason, check him out on YouTube. As for the FA, they should be worrying about more important things, like the actual behaviour of their players, because believe it or not, yesterday, Wednesday, a Queen's Park Rangers striker was one of three men arrested in connection with the alleged gang rape
of a woman in London.
Of course, at the moment, alleged is the operative word, even if Loic Rémy is eventually charged. But, and this is a big but, Britain's overpaid soccer players should not put themselves in the position where they can be accused of rape, or groping a woman, or punching someone in a club, or anything else. If the people at the FA want to stamp out something, then the odd epithet in the dressing room or on the field - racial or otherwise - should be the least of their priorities.