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article imageOp-Ed: Samsung launches TV that responds to Aussie accent

By Paul Wallis     Apr 17, 2013 in Entertainment
Sydney - In a move which will greatly enhance the prestige of Western civilization, Samsung have released a new TV which understands Australian speech. This intelligent, tasteful TV will react to 250,000 questions with 18,000 recorded answers.
Opinions of the Australian accent vary from those Aussies who need subtitles to those foreigners who think it’s a speech impediment. Actually, it’s a sort of cross between the Aboriginal accent and English slang.
The Daily Telegraph reports:
The language system, which will be in Samsung's new high-end smart TVs, was part of a package of announcements made at a national launch in Sydney, including the launch of the $40,000 ultra high-definition 85-inch Samsung S9 that will go on sale next month.
The TV’s responses will be made in a male of female voice selected by viewers.
Clearly this is only the beginning. A truly Australian TV would have an opinion of its own, for example, and respond appropriately to questions:
“When’s the footy on?”
“Yer don’t wanna watch that.”
“Why not?”
“It affects yer mind, Barry.”
“It’s my mind.”
“No it’s not.”
“I wanna watch the game!”
“What’s in it for me?”
“I’ll clean your screen.”
“Keep talking…”
“I’ll put in your HDMI cable.”
“ (Sigh) …. And we’ll get a pizza and some beer.”
“It’s on in 20 minutes.”
This labor saving device could even get people interested in knowing what they’re watching. That may seem like a bit of a stretch of logic, but in this age of technological self-indulgence, even this is possible.
The Australian accent angle is actually a bit of an achievement. I spoke to a girl in Vancouver a while back, and the poor thing didn’t get a word. My Sydney accent isn’t nasal, but it’s quite Aussie. Maybe one day we can get TVs that can act as interpreters?
Soon, the world will be overrun with Australian accents, frolicking in the fields and infesting BBC newsreaders. A new civilization will arise, based on scatology and pithy observations of foreigners. Thanks, Samsung, you may have doomed the world, but you’ve restored our relationships with our appliances.
This opinion article was written by an independent writer. The opinions and views expressed herein are those of the author and are not necessarily intended to reflect those of
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