Father Thomas Henry Byrne appeared in court yesterday charged with grievous bodily harm over the incident involving his neighbour, 81-year-old Father Thomas Joseph Cameron Smith.
According to police, after the brawl Father Byrne told Father Smith to pick up an item up on the ground.
It was not until Father Smith returned to his unit that he realised the item he had picked up and put in his pocket was his right ear.
The alleged victim was “told” to pick up his own ear? Cleanliness, or at least tidiness in this case, was right next to godliness, until it apparently got bitten off.
Smith wrapped his head in a tea towel and drove with the ear to a hospital. Bail conditions require Byrne, the alleged attacker, to stay at least 10m away from Smith and not to act in an aggressive or threatening manner. The two retired priests live in a complex funded by the Catholic church. Neighbours say they’re shocked, an understandable enough reaction.
You have to wonder, though, how two retired priests, leaders of their community for decades, can come to blows over a parking space in a place they’ve obviously been living in for some time. If they can’t organise something as basic as routine parking, how did they manage religious instruction, which some might say is a little more complex?
Van Gogh originally wanted to be a priest. Now we know why. Lazy sod.