A 'sideways' review of the latest goings-on in Coronation Street, the popular British Soap Opera.
This post looks at episodes broadcast in the UK 1st-5th October 2012
*Warning: May Contain Spoilers*
Mary's cooking; Curse-ty's stirring up trouble, things are getting steamy between Maria and Marcus and Ken's soon going to be in hot water!
Marcus and Maria sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G.
Ah, yes. That full-on snog between the pair of them goes to prove that no matter how gay (or straight) someone is, it's not gender or sexuality but THE PERSON we fall in love with, and sometimes that person might not always be the one you'd expect it to be.
Ooh, those angst-ridden looks across the room at Eileen's party. Oh, we've all been there, haven't we, but what will happen next?
Many people change sides unexpectedly, and I think we'd all love Marcus and Maria to get together as they've got such great chemistry (unlike Maria and Jason), they love each other and Marcus loves Liam (where's he been all week, by the way?), so what a great storyline it'd be if this relationship were to develop and not just be put down to having been a 'silly mistake'.
I hope it does, but if it doesn't it won't be the end of the world … just as long as we finally get to see Carla and Michelle get together one of these days. Anyway (just lost concentration for a moment there), back to the present. Come on Jane, focus!
Curse-ty's a mother— but Ty's not the father
Let's focus on Curse-ty, shall we? Just when you think she can't possibly get any worse, she does, but this week we finally saw Tyrone stand up to her and actually tell her to leave.
She wasn't having that though, and firstly tried the puppy dog eyes and the clever words, but when that didn't work she played her trump card and told him she'd registered Ruby as 'father unknown'.
I was surprised that Tyrone hadn't already been down and registered the birth, weren't you? Call me old-fashioned, but I thought that was the father's job – and one that was usually done quite soon after the birth. Anyway, it's too late now, and not five minutes later he's there cooking her dinner and telling Ruby, "We love your mummy."
"I don't deserve either of you," she smiled (with her 'nice' head on).
"Course you do," Tyrone asserted. Er, no she doesn't. Are you mad, man?
'Stir-crazy'? No, just crazy
I despair of him. We're all just on pins waiting for her to 'lose it' again, and who thought she was going to when Tyrone came back in from talking to Fiz in the alley? He looked really scared, and she looked as if she was about to do a bit more practice for her 2016 Olympic 'kitchen implement-throwing' bid.
Curse-ty blamed her latest outburst on the fact that she was going 'Stir crazy being at home all day with Ruby'. Er, so what was your excuse before, then? People like her; they've always got an excuse, haven't they?
Fiz is frustrated (is baby Hopeless off with Liam somewhere?), as are we, and I'm getting quite twitchy about this one now. You can almost SEE it bubbling-under the whole time, and I won't be able to relax until I know for sure that Curse-ty's going to go too far one day and get carted-off, so that Tyrone and Ruby can end up in a proper little family with Fiz (he's definitely got a thing for big-haired woman) and Hope, please.
Eileen turns fifty-one, & am I turning?
"This is Eileen: she's fifty-one this week," Lloyd told Jenna.
Ah, Eileen's birthday. Fireman Paul asked her if she wanted to go and stick her head through some railings to celebrate the occasion, but they settled on staying at her surprise 'miniature' party instead. I really do have a little 'thing' (or even a miniature one!) for FP. Ooh, he's got such a cheeky smile; I melt whenever I see it. Maybe I'm turning? I think I need Carla back, quick!
Mary turned up at Roy's with a few onions and peppers, and the next minute was feeding the five thousand at 'Cafe Ole'. Mary's a total one-off, and who'd have thought she'd have been a talented Spanish chef too? Amazing (!).
Mary rattles those pots & pans … and her maracas
Still, it made entertaining – and very funny – viewing as she shook her maracas, rattled her castanets and pummelled her peppers. (Remember Roy and the Belgian buns?)
She and Anna look like sisters to me, and whenever I watch Mary I always think she reminds me of someone else too … Kat from EastEnders. What do you reckon?
I'm sure we're going to see a lot more of this next week, but let's just end with a quick word about that naughty Ken. His chips got burned, and he'll have had his chips when Deirdre finds out the truth about what he's getting up to and who with. Ooh, can't wait! Right. Time for our Grins of the Week:
Julie: "Brian's had a pig of a day and he needed to offload."
Lloyd (about Jenna): "She's clever; she's beautiful."
Eileen: "Are you sure she's your daughter?"
Maria: "What are you doing?"
Beth: "What's it look like? I'm ravaging your brother."
Maria: "Well, can you go and ravage him round at yours?"
Beth: "I can't. Craig's got his mates round."
Maria: "Alright, well go and find some alleyway then."
A bit of Appropriate/Inappropriate Music in the Background with the line, 'I never wanted anyone like you' from Madonna's 'Crazy For You' playing behind a shot of Maria and Marcus at Eileen's party.
* Was that someone from the 'Ministry of Silly Walks'? No, just Nick jogging!
* I'm surprised Roy and Hayley had passports …
* "Think big and your dreams will come to fruition," Mary said. Oh, how I wish that were true …
* Why haven't David and Kylie got any money?
* Maria's Consultant at the hospital was Beverly Hills (what a great name!) who used to play Elaine in Brookside. I knew I knew her from somewhere. She's aged well!
* Didn't Maria look nice in that purple and white dress and matching cardigan?
* Hayley said Anna could run the caff standing on her head. Yes, but not singlehandedly. She'd still have needed some help.
* If you've got a moment, check out the Bad Drinking From a Mug from the old guy sat behind Tyrone in Roy's during part one of Monday's second episode!
* Hands up who was (and is) desperate for a custard slice after seeing Sean eating his?
* Twitter fans: how about #KenWen (Ken/Wendy) & #MarMar (Maria/Marcus)?
* Carla fans: on 12th October it'll mean there's only about another four weeks until she's due to be back on screen after her four-month break. Four months? It's felt a damn sight longer than that!