US officially confirms it's not planning to attack Canada

Washington - The US State Department has officially confirmed there are no plans to team up with Mexico and invade Canada. The strange statement follows a tongue-in-cheek question from a reporter at the State Department earlier this week.

When reporters were told on Tuesday that they couldn't attend a closed-door signing ceremony between Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and Mexican Foreign Minister Patricia Espinosa, one reporter asked, "This isn't some secret thing to invade Canada or something like that?" State Department spokeswoman Victoria Nuland responded, "No, no, no, it's not anything classified." Still, BuzzFeed asks, "But if they were, wouldn't they still deny it." The last time the Americans tried to invade Canada was during the War of 1812, but they were unsuccessful. The US also drew up a secret plan to invade Canada in 1935, codenamed War Plan Red, but the information leaked out and was reported by the New York Times. There's even a spoof website called Invade Canada that runs down a list of reasons why the US should take over the Great White North, like , "They're just a little too proud," and "They don't play nicely with each other," referring to the Quebec separatism movement. The website also suggests, "They want to make it easy for us. The border is wide open, with usually less than a 10 minute wait at the border." And if Americans need any other reason why to consider an invasion, South Park gave them all the ammo they'd need, more than a decade ago, in the video "Blame Canada", from the film "Bigger, Longer, Uncut."