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article imageOp-Ed: How to write a Romney speech — But why?

By Paul Wallis     Sep 18, 2012 in Politics
Washington - Mitt Romney’s little gabfest was an interesting journey for reasons other than its content. What I want to know is what sort of people swallow a line like "....believe they are victims...."?
“47% of Americans think they’re victims”. What the hell sort of tripe is that? Was he speaking to other rich martyrs who are all singlehandedly bearing the weight of the world? Or was he speaking to people who really believed it?
Let’s try writing an equally endearing Romney speech, or something like it. It seems to be pretty easy:
We all know how tough it is to live on a few billion a year. We all know how brutal the simple act of suffering through a day of executive dinners and 12 course meals can be. We all know how vicious, heartless and selfish the poor are, deliberately breathing our air and even looking at our garbage when it goes wherever it goes.
It is getting rough. People can’t move in the United States at the moment without getting run over by homeless people driving Ferraris and Lamborghinis. I remember reading somewhere where a guy making less than $200 million a week was allowed into a building, something called an “office”, and was then allowed to leave, just because he had to go and die somewhere.
Doesn’t anyone give a damn about all those tormented lost souls out there who are down to a miserable last few oil companies and multinational corporations? Apparently not. All they care about are trivial things like trying to identify their diseases and not going broke every second. What sort of work ethos is that?
They didn’t have to come into work once a decade and ask their lap dogs how much richer they were or which country those trillions are in at the moment. They don’t have to live in 17 different mansions. They don’t have to pretend to care where Wall Street was.
(I got the name right…? There was such a place? Thanks. It was either that or Wal Mart, I wasn’t sure.)
These people just hung around dying and making sure their kids couldn’t get an education, or vaccination or whatever those things are. They think they’re victims because they don’t know how tough life really is. They live in their cars for weeks just to flaunt their wealth. They were kicked out of their homes just because they felt like it. They get TB and syphilis and (We don’t have another product name? Why not?) just for laughs. They wander around enjoying epidemics and pretend to have something else to do.
These people will never vote for us because we represent what’s good about this country. We’re what’s great about it. We’re the people who found the honest managers and contractors who run this country. We’re the people who keep lobbyists out of zoos and other public conveniences
(sorry, that’s utilities, not conveniences) and work so hard to make them accept all that hard earned money.
Friends, the only way to protect democracy is to destroy it. We must prevent irresponsible people from getting control of the nation. We must prevent life on Earth, if necessary, to do so.
Thank you and God bless us all, again.
So much for how to write a Romney speech. The next obvious question is why?
The point isn’t that a Presidential candidate actually said what he said and didn’t retract it. The point is that this stuff is actually being said to people, some of whom can read and use furniture, who are somehow able to believe it. Some forms of BS are more sacred than others. Some cannot be contradicted. But to even pretend to believe it is going way too far.
That speech really fits in well with the classic GOP political position in recent years. First, misrepresent a large section of the public and call them the enemy. Get the numbers hopelessly wrong and misinterpret them anyway, with staff to help you. Then refuse to retract the statement, in full knowledge that it’s wrong.
I can see a new reality game show starting, based in Washington: Spot the criminals. If you guess right, you win some food stamps.
This opinion article was written by an independent writer. The opinions and views expressed herein are those of the author and are not necessarily intended to reflect those of
More about Mitt Romney, work ethic, Republican party, Presidential election 2012, Election 2012
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