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article imageOp-Ed: ‘Boyfriend application’ on Facebook goes viral

By Paul Wallis     Sep 4, 2012 in Odd News
Sydney - Yep, there’s now a way to turn a relationship into a bureaucracy before it even starts: with a boyfriend application. A girl decided to advertise for a boyfriend, and got a result which has been rattling around the world.
The Daily Telegraph:
The woman who posted the boyfriend request said she did it as a joke, but came home to find the letter slipped under her dorm room door.
The man lists his skills to include "oral sex, ability to listen (read 'really listen'), exceptional navigation skills, and ability to prepare my own meals".
Of course the navigation skills explain it all. You couldn’t do any of the others without them. Well, you shouldn’t. Unless you want to take your relationship with your food to another level- Or food preparation has something to do with the oral sex. Or really listening involves great navigation while preparing food and having oral sex. Or he’s lying his head off.
It doesn’t actually say whether he can do all those things at the same time. He hasn’t explained why he’s good at them, just that he is. There is some reason to believe the statement. He says in the letter that he’s competent with a Sony Playstation 3.
Obviously, all the other skills could be easily learned and even perhaps turned into enjoyable experiences.
But it’s also tricky. He also describes himself as being laid back, stable and enjoying country music.
The guy may be living in a feed lot or an escapee from a barn somewhere. There’s not a lot else to do with a Sony Playstation in a feed lot. He doesn’t actually admit to being human or even suggest it. That may not surprise most girlfriends, but on a first application?
This is the full letter as posted on It includes a quote:
“You can reach me on my cell any time…” Check out where the “i” and the “o” are on the keyboard. That “on” might be misleading.
Makes you wonder. What about the traditional way of getting a boyfriend, with a lasso/noose, basic old fashioned extortion and use of a few weapons?
Of course it won’t stop there.
There will be more boyfriend and girlfriend applications.
Love is where you apply yourself to it?
Love is where you apply yourself to it?
There’ll be online forms and resumes posted online.
There’ll be a boom in application classes.
Monster and the other big sites will probably get arrested.
Boyfriends and girlfriends will have to issue receipts.
Dates will be under contract.
MYOB will go nuts trying to figure out the spreadsheets.
There will be a return to traditional family valuations.
Want to start an industry? Start a bureaucracy, and everyone will want in. You could even have franchises for outsourcing the applications.
This opinion article was written by an independent writer. The opinions and views expressed herein are those of the author and are not necessarily intended to reflect those of
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