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article imageOp-Ed: All the rat-shaped holes in the water around the good ship Akin

By Bill Schmalfeldt     Aug 20, 2012 in Politics
It is with a very bad taste in our mouth that we mention our grudging admiration for the Family Research Council. They are the only rats staying on board, going down with the SS Akin, saluting as his bow slips under the surly seas.
Say what you will about Tony Perkins and his gang of anti-female neanderthals, they are sticking like glue to their man, Todd Akin. Do they also believe that women can somehow "shut down" a "legitimate rape"?
All the other rats have long since left little rat-shaped holes in the water as Akin's candidacy for the U.S. Senate begins to list hard starboard. Most rats, being rats, are quick to forget all the other stuff that Akin said in the past that they let slide by without so much as a quivering whisker according to an update in Talking Points Memo.
Calling a Socialist Spade a Spade
In April, Akin, currently a Missouri Congressman, cited a law Democrats passed in 2010 that saves billions of dollars by preventing private banks from profiting, risk free, on federally backed student loans as an example of the notion that “America has got the equivalent of stage three cancer of socialism, because the federal government is tampering in all kind of stuff it has no business tampering in.”
Laws no! We shouldn't be stopping BANKS from profiteering on the backs of students! That's COMMIE talk!
Socialist Security
During a CSPAN appearance on March 2011, Akin raised strong objections to one of the nation’s most popular federal support programs. “Social Security, through the years, for many many people, has been a terrible investment. It’s really a tax is all it is. Social Security is a tax. The government is taking the tax — there’s more money coming in than going out — and we spend it. That’s not responsible. I don’t like it. I didn’t design Social Security. It was — it actually came from Bismarck (We assume me means former Prussian Chancellor Otto Von Bismarck, and not the capital of North Dakota). FDR put it in place.”
Liberals Hate God and Jesus, Too!
In June 2011, Akin told Tony Perkins, president of the Family Research Council, that “the heart of liberalism really is a hatred for God and a belief that government should replace God.”
Ya Can't Rape It If Yer Married To It!
In 1991, as a state legislator, Akin questioned whether anti-marital rape legislation might be used “in a real messy divorce as a tool and a legal weapon to beat up on the husband.” He ultimately voted for the bill.
Those Pesky Negroes and Their Voting
Akin recently claimed that elections “historically have always been a state thing.” Without expressing opposition to the Civil Rights Act and other federal protections for ethnic minorities, Akin noted “I think we’ve come a very long way from those days,” adding, “I think we need to make sure that everybody has a right to vote — once,” a transparent nod to the inaccurate notion that voter impersonation fraud is a persistent problem that requires legal restrictions on voting.
Let Them Eat Twinkies
In 2010, he was one of 13 to vote against expressing support for the goals and ideals of the National School Lunch Program.
Look at All The Money Parents Save When Their Kids Go Missing!
In 2003, he and 13 other Republicans voted against a five year reauthorization of a law that provides support for missing and exploited children.
In 2005, he was one of 52 congressmen to oppose legislation to create a national sex offender registry, compel convicted sex offenders to register, and impose mandatory sentences for convicted child molesters.
Shotgun Pregnancies?
When he first ran for Congress in 2000 he fell under scrutiny for writing a 1995 letter of support to the 1st Missouri Volunteers — a fringe, anti-abortion private militia.
So now, after a long career of ungodly backwards, misogynist, horrifying nonsense, NOW his colleagues suddenly are rending their tunics over his stupid, stupid, stupid comments about rape and pregnancy?
So, a foul-tasting kudos to the Family Research Council -- the only organization in America that hates women more than Todd Akin.
Now, for your amusement, here's a parody ad for Akin's POV that our blogging counterpart the Liberal Grouch threw together yesterday evening.
This opinion article was written by an independent writer. The opinions and views expressed herein are those of the author and are not necessarily intended to reflect those of
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