A 'sideways' review of the latest goings-on in Coronation Street, the popular British Soap Opera.
This post looks at episodes broadcast in the UK 9th-13th July 2012
*Warning: May Contain Spoilers*
Peter's drinking's a nightmare, Norris is having nightmares and Curse-ty's Tyrone's worst nightmare.
It was Peter Week, or Weak Peter, more like!
Unable to cope when he doesn't get his own way, Peter did the thing he does best: get drunk. He's a great drunk, but the way he turned on Carla was unforgiveable. (Read more about this in my Carla Corner.)
Weren't you desperate for him to say "I'm my own worst enemy," after Leanne and Nick had a bet on it in Roy's? He didn't disappoint either. Great scene.
I want you … no, I want you
It all added fuel to his 'Poor me' fire though, and he spent the week insulting everyone – mostly Carla, before begging Leanne to give him another chance. I actually want them to get back together. I thought they made a nice little family, and hope they do end up back together eventually, as it'll be lovely for Simon to have a mum and dad again.
From knocking back the voddie, smoking like a trooper and staggering all over the street, he managed to sober-up (and smarten himself up) remarkably quickly in order to turn up at Simon's school and for Simon to confirm that he didn't smell of booze, didn't he?
How was he able to just walk into the playground during a lesson, anyway? I thought schools were like Fort Knox these days, and why did Brian even let him take Simon out of school anyway?
What if every parent turned up in the middle of the afternoon asking to take their child out of school just so they could to go for a pizza? Would he let them all out?
Brian's like a limp lettuce
Brian's SO not Headmaster material. Get him out of that school and running a fruit and veg shop in the Street with Julie (like I'd read was going to happen months ago) please – and soon!
He and Julie are comedy gold, but we barely ever see them together. The last time was when Julie was in hospital – which was no laughing matter. They played it so well, but they're so underused, and I hope we get to see them working together very soon as it'll be one-liner heaven for me!
Another delightful little comic partnership is that of Roy and Mary. I laughed out loud at some of their social intercourse this week, especially the bit where Mary checked her diary and saw that every night was free!
Hayley's not happy, and neither is Norris – although I don't blame him for being upset, as the dreaded Tracy's moved in with him and Emily. "I imagine there are meter readers who have been in fewer houses than she has," Norris reminded Emily about poor little Amy being dragged from pillar to post.
You'd better sleep with one eye open, Norris
The scene where Tracy had the knife in her hand when they were eating cheese and biscuits was brilliant. Norris's expressions were a picture, and Tracy was at her minx-y best as she put the wind up him by talking about how easy it was to kill someone!
I don't know whether it was a coincidence, but there was a big bowl of oranges on the table as they talked. In my favourite film ever: The Godfather, whenever someone was about to die there was always an orange in the previous scene somewhere. I'd love that to have been a deliberate little 'homage'. Was it, I wonder?
You'd better sleep with BOTH eyes open, Ty!
I hope Tyrone hasn't got any oranges on his table or they'd have been chucked at him (along with the rest of his dinner) on Friday night. Yes, she's back. It's Curse-ty. Aaargh!
I was worried that she'd turned a corner a few weeks back when – as Curse-ty of the yard – she single-handedly saved Rita, Tommy and Tina from the drugs guy, but I was relieved to see that she was back to her terrifying best (worst?) on Friday, just because poor little Ty had gone to fix Fiz's boiler.
Bless him. He tried to stand up to her but she was like a woman possessed, and he was out of that door like a whippet when she smashed Jack and Vera's photo. (If he needs a new frame, Cora's Charity shop in EastEnders has got a nice one – apart from the blood stain, but I'm sure it'll wash off.)
What makes this character so disturbing is how real she seems. To be a convincing 'baddie' you have to be believable, and Curse-ty's certainly that! She really scares me. It's that unpredictability, and the way she just snaps. It must be terrifying to actually live with someone like that, and it's extremely well written too, in that it just comes in fits and starts.
Has Curse-ty gone too far this time?
I feel sorry for the baby. Never mind buying it booties and a bonnet; knee pads and a helmet would be a safer bet. Poor little mite. Where will it end? I guess it's only going to get worse, but surely Tyrone can't stay with her now? I just can't see this relationship working out in any Universe.
Natalie Gumede plays her to perfection – and I'm sorry if it sounds as if I want her to lose her job – but Ty's so sweet; surely nobody watching will want him to stay with her after this, so I assume she'll be shipping-out at some point?
Maybe she could arrest herself for GBH and take herself down to the Station to save them having to come and get her? Either that, or they'll be carting her off in a straight jacket. As long as she leaves the baby behind (as a little brother or sister for Hope when Tyrone gets back together with Fiz and she moves in with him please), then that'll be ok. Aah!
That's the thing with Soaps: characters come in for a storyline and then leave. It's the way they work, and it's a fantastic showcase for any actor to be able to have a stint in a Soap on their CV as it's a perfect showcase for their talents, and I suspect that Natalie's next role (if she DOES end up leaving of course!), will be one where she plays a delightfuly sweet and caring character!
Ok. Time for our Grins of the Week:
Kirk: "Lager from Azerbaijan. 24 bottles for a tenner. They said don't let the smell put you off."
Roy: "I know it's easy to dismiss Mary as an eccentric."
Hayley: "That's because she's completely doolally."
Mary (to Roy): "I don't think you've ever got to grips with my clam variation." (WHAT a line!)
Gail: "How would you like it if I upped sticks and moved away?"
Audrey (wistfully): "How far?"
Norris: "I know I want to die in my sleep, but not with a pillow over my face."
Beth: "You're the best housemate I've ever had."
Mary (to Hayley): "I'm afraid I mated your husband – twice."
* What's Peter done to his jeans? Painted a white line down them in a drunken stupor?
* I loved Roy's line: "Maturity's a difficult thing to ask of the young." Very deep. Very 'Roy'.
* Kevin's voice is still sounding a bit gravelly. Is he ok?
* I don't like to be pernickity, but the houses on Coronation Street are tiny little terraces. The upstairs of these houses seem to be some kind of Tardis though. They could only have one 'master' bedroom, a smaller one and a tiny box room, plus a small bathroom, so how did Emily, Norris, Tracy AND Amy all manage to fit into that one little house, I wonder? (Same at Eileen's and Ken and Deirdre's!)