A 'sideways' review of the latest goings-on in Emmerdale, the popular British Soap Opera.
For episodes broadcast in the UK 9th-13th July 2012
*Warning: May Contain Spoilers*
Laurel looks scared, Charity and Debbie look alike, Carl looks like a girl and Dan wishes he was a woman!
I loved Dan from day one, and it's been great to see a bit more of him this week. He's such a 'bloke', but he's a bloke with a good heart. He even paid Chas a compliment (while giving her the eye!).
"Cheers. You're a gent," she smiled.
"If I was more of a woman I might still have my wife and kids," he sighed.
I reckon he's had a lucky escape. Would anyone actually want to be with Misery Ali? Seems that Ruby does after all, although I did have that little moment last week where I wondered whether there was going to be a real surprise twist in the Laurel/Ashley divorce storyline.
"She thinks I fancy you," Ruby told Laurel in the pub.
"Well, that's ridiculous … isn't it?" Laurel squeaked nervously.
Love at Last
I don't think we need to think about that one any more, as it seems (from the front cover of this week's TV Times magazine) that we're all about to get our wish granted, as it shows a beaming Marlon and Laurel with the words 'Love at last' at the side of them. About time too; you can almost see the sparks fly when they look at each other.
Hope that's not a look of love, Katie?
Aah, I can't wait for that, but I'll tell you what's been troubling me this week, and that's that creepy Robbie. I was going to say that he's 'muscling-in', but as he hasn't got any muscles, I'll have to say that he's 'sliming-in' on Katie.
If he's not boozing he's either leering over Pointless Priya or looming over Katie, but here's the scary bit … she seems to be responding. O.M.G. Surely you wouldn't touch him with a cattleprod, Katie? I hope those looks she's giving him are of revulsion and not attraction?
I don't like to be mean, but he SO doesn't look like the son that the gorgeous Megan would have given birth to, and just doesn't look the part of a guy that would turn either Katie or PP's heads either.
Maybe I'm missing something, but after seeing him in that old man's vest again this week I'm sure I'm not. "What do you fancy?" Pointless Priya asked him when he shuffled up to the bar. Oh, don't ask him that, love. You know what the answer's going to be!
Paddy leaving? Noooo, surely not?
Rhona was poking Paddy again this week. Poor bloke. He must be black and blue. He's certainly blue, and is having a mid-life crisis. If you're not happy, it doesn't matter where in the world you are, you'll still be unhappy, but if Paddy's just looking for a new challenge then he definitely should go.
I'm not actually taking this one too seriously as I can't believe Paddy will actually leave. I'm forcing myself not to look at any spoiler sites because I don't want to know what actually happens, but I do hope he doesn't go. Marlon wouldn't be able to cope with losing both his 'brother' and his son, and we wouldn't be able to cope with losing him either, would we?
Loan Sharks? More like a couple of tiddlers
Ooh, it took so long for those loan sharks to get round to giving Zak 'what for' that the interest on that loan must have gone up another few hundred pounds. Charity and Lisa could have stopped off for a three-course lunch and an afternoon's shopping on the way up to the barn and still had hours to spare.
Honestly … it was a bit hard to believe that Belle saying they'd grabbed her arm would have been enough to scare them off, wasn't it? I just hope their other 'clients' were watching, as all they'll have to do now is get their child/granny/dog to say they'd touched them and they'll be off the hook too!
That said, there was some good acting – not least from Lisa – again, and Belle was very believable too. Ooh, she's getting more grown up every day, isn't she? It's so sweet that she's so protective over her dad. Most girls her age think their parents are idiots. Maybe she'll be getting to that stage in a year or so? I'll look forward to seeing it when she does!
As for Charity: all she needed was a Wonder Woman costume. She's at her fiesty finest when she's taking men on, and Cain's certainly in her firing line at the moment too. I don't know who Cameron should be more worried about actually, Cain or her!
Right, time for our Grins of the Week:
Dan: "How much is your finest champagne?"
Chas: "Sixty quid."
Dan: "Least finest?"
Dan: "Half a bitter, please."
Lisa: "When your dad comes back I want you to act normal."
Belle: "That'll be hard for Sam. There's stuff in horror films more normal than him."
Pearl: "Has somebody died?"
Paddy: "Not yet."
Lisa: "I'm fixing the pigs' pen."
Zak: "Ooh, well, I can do that."
Lisa: "What, from sat there? That's clever."
* Is there something Carl's not telling us? First it was the girly tops and shoulderpads, and now he all-but minced into the pub on Thursday. Oh, I just realised – he saw Megan in that awful bright-yellow blouse (which looked like something from the Wizard of Oz), and has decided to become a Friend of Dorothy!
* I've said it before and I'll say it again: don't Charity and Debbie look alike, and doesn't Debbie look as if she could be the real life daughter of her and Cain? She looks SO much like the pair of them!