Adult Film Star Kayden Kross has spent her career defying stereotypes. A Psych major, horseback rider, and avid blogger of all things interesting she never fails to disappoint. As you get to know her the surprises keep coming.
Lately I've been getting a lot of slack, more like friendly teasing, for my interview with adult film star, Bobbi Starr. It's all in good fun I've been called The Porn Whisperer, and that I'm developing a Pornocopia of articles for my portfolio and I just laugh or smile knowing full well I'm enjoying every minute of it. I didn't go into this thinking I'd get to meet all these hot women or I'd somehow get free sex out of the deal, I'm a spoken for lady and straying isn't in my DNA. Not that these women don't make you think twice about throwing your caution to the wind and spending a wild night in their world, it's a world that seems free, uninhibited and at times very complicated in an intentional way. Kayden Kross is another one of those cases of don't judge a book by its cover. Kayden much like Bobbi isn't just a gorgeous body, wild intense sex, blow jobs or threesomes she's got a brain to back up all that sexual bravado.
Born and raised in Sacramento, California, Kayden was a self-described Book Nerd during her high school years, the awkward student who preferred a good book over cliques, bonfires, and the typical American teenager peer pressure activities. She started exotic dancing to make money to buy herself a pony and in 2006 when she was a senior at California State University Sacramento, she signed an exclusive performing contract with Vivid Video. After doing some videos with Vivid including Kayden's First Time, Hard Time, and Be Here Now she became a free agent and eventually signed with Adam & Eve. Since that signing Kayden has racked up awards for Top 20 Adult Actresses, Best American Starlet, Best Actress International, Best All-Girl Group Sex Scene, Wildest Sex Scene, and Acting Performance of the Year, Female for Body Heat. I guess some would say she's made it in an industry where it can somehow be difficult to distinguish yourself from the rest of the women in film. Sex is sex right? Not to Kayden, in fact Kayden's views on many things can be read at her blog UnKrossed.com where she muses on anything from riding her horse to her stance on Bisexuals and Bisexuality. She doesn't conform to your porn star stigma and she certainly isn't contained into society's box for smut. While she can be anyone you want her to be on film, at home and in her spare time Kayden is just a girl living in a very big world that is constantly in flux, her blogs aren't just interesting they are downright addictive. If there were an award for blogs that keep you glued to your computer screen and could possibly make you go blind or inadvertently have an intellectual orgasm it would be hers. Kayden was gracious enough to lend me her time and answer a few of the questions that have been burning on my mind, the answers might surprise you.
Erin: Is it true you started exotic dancing so that you could raise money to buy yourself a pony? How did you make the transition from dancing to performing in movies, what was the catalyst for that?
Kayden: I needed a way to find money to buy a pony that was headed for the slaughter auction and stripping ended up doing the trick. I made $850 the first shift I worked and turned around the next day and bought him. Then I went back again that night with less altruistic intentions. Those intentions might have been shoes. This went on for almost two years before an agent approached me to model for Penthouse. I was a junior at Sacramento State and my credits were mostly humanities and psychology. My declared major was Psychology because I had the most credits racked up there. I figured I’d graduate faster that way. The job market for graduating four year psych students didn’t look promising, or interesting for that matter. Neither did anything else. Then someone offered to pay me a lot of money to play dress-up and un-dress-up all day. That was interesting.
Erin: I can't blame you in the least for stripping to save a pony; I'm a sucker for animals. I'm pretty sure if I had your body and made that much money dancing I'd absolutely go back! You described yourself in Xcitement magazine as being the, "Book Nerd" in high-school. I happen to love nerds; in fact I am a self-proclaimed nerd. What would you say is your nerdiest trait as an adult; do you still love books as much as you did in high-school?
Kayden: The condition is more acute now than it was in High School. At least when I was 16, there were raging hormones forcing me out of the house. Now that those have calmed down I spend most of my free time reading or writing. My prize possession is a bookshelf that spans the full height and length of one wall of my loft. Books are stored according to how hard they were to put down, with a special section for the signed ones. I have two signed Bukowskis, an Atwood, one from Barry Hannah, Richard Dawkins, two from Adam Levin, and one day a hardcover collection of penis drawings signed by the cast of Superbad showed up. I don’t know how or why. The Penis drawings are not great literature, although they’re arguably more eloquent than the paperbacks found in grocery stores.
Erin: Ha agreed, grocery store paperbacks are just a hot mess. My bookshelf lined with books is one of my most prized possessions. I think as book lovers you cherish the age and years to a book just as much as you cherish the story inside the browned pages. You've won a great deal of awards for your roles in various adult films, what would you say has contributed to your success in the business? Is it the roles you choose to play or the companies you work with, or really just luck?
Kayden: I think you’re assuming there is something intelligent going on behind the scenes. I do not deal with strategists or managers. I’m just good at crying real tears where the script calls for it.
Erin: Well, I always assume a person wants to reach the highest goal in their career and I tend to forget that awards are really just pieces of gold/metal depending on what you get. Sometimes they mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. In your line of work you get to hang out and perform with some beautiful people, do you have any preference as to boys or girls and who would you say is easier to work with?
Kayden: It’s not a matter of the equipment under the hood for me. It’s a matter of how honestly the partner is coming to the scene. If the sex is real I can’t get enough. If it’s staged every minute seems to drag on without end. This is my porn theory of relativity.
Erin: Haha I'm going to use that if you don't mind, “porn theory of relativity”, that is. And I agree, if the sex seemed staged as a viewer we know it we can tell. That's why I gravitated towards you and Bobbi Starr to interview, you both really seem sincere when you're doing a movie, I feel in the moment with you. Do you like being the dominant or submissive when you're on camera and does that at all translate to your personal life?
Kayden: I like fighting for dominance and losing. Sometimes I have to fake losing though. I hate that.
Erin: You and me both girl! Has there ever been a time where you've had to work with a person whom you just had no chemistry with, and how difficult was it for you to get through those scenes to really make it work?
Kayden: I choose my partners. There was one incident a few years ago where I picked a guy from an online catalog (catalog shopping is the worst) and when he showed up it was like one of those online dating horror stories where the picture was from 1982 and his bio had possibly undergone the facelift of some artistic licensing. I sent him home. I won’t do a scene with a person I wouldn’t have sex with off camera.
Erin: I spent quite a bit of time on match.com doing online dating and I can tell you those 1982 pictures show up a lot on people's profiles. It was an interesting and awkward experiment that I'm glad I won't have to do again, well hoping.
You recently appeared in February of 2012 with Professor Wendy Murphy on Stossel to discuss legislation in California which would require condom use during pornographic film production. You advocate a great deal on behalf of the adult film industry for less federal regulation for safe sex in film. How do you feel the industry as a whole is coming along with adhering to new regulations and progressing in that area? I know for many years now the industry has been reluctant to jump on board.
Kayden: I advocate against state regulation. Regulators try to write legislation without doing research on how it would actually affect our industry constantly. We work under a standardized testing system. All performers are urine and blood tested every thirty days and can’t work without results verified in an online database. This is not state law; this is our own regulation. Condoms are only 85% effective under the best conditions, and being jackhammered for 45 minutes off the artistic setting of a cement wall is not considered ‘best conditions’. Condoms become painful and cumbersome at that point, and consumers don’t want to see them either for the most part.
Erin: I can understand the frustration when you have outsiders who have no idea what the industry or job is like trying to tell you how to regulate it and what to do. Sometimes it's best to allow the industry itself to control how their actors and actresses are protected, because they know the conditions better than anyone.
You have and will be guesting in and acting in some mainstream films, how did you know you could make that transition from adult film to mainstream film without any issue and what was it like making, As Wonderland Goes By?
Kayden: I didn’t know whether there would be an issue or not, and frankly, I didn’t care. The only thing better than transitioning to mainstream without an issue would be transitioning to mainstream with an issue and getting the added PR from TMZ. Ask me how the Wonderland movie is if we ever wrap it….
Erin: I've read through some of your blogs I wish I'd had time to read through them all before this interview, but I was so intrigued it was like I couldn't stop reading as much as I had other work to do. You have a knack for getting your point across without having to say a whole lot, what made you start blogging?
Kayden: I started blogging because a friend asked me to write for his site. I loved the tiny pitying power. I also realized that most people have terrible perceptions of the performers in this industry and someone had to prove that we can spell.
Erin: That is exactly why I've decided to do these interviews; I think it's amazing the misconceptions people have of women, specifically in porn. I think the most control you can have is over your own body and if you make the choice to be in porn that is a huge powerful strength in a woman to take that much control of her body and sex. People tend to think porn stars are all tits and ass and frankly I think that's a rather small view of things, I think people are entitled to choose their profession and just because you choose to have sex on video for a living doesn't mean you are missing brain cells.
If this isn't too personal, is there a special someone in your life right now? Do you find maintaining a relationship in this business to be difficult and how do you deal with juggling both worlds in your relationships?
Kayden: There is! He’s a performer too. I don’t find it to be a problem but I can see how it would be. This will serve as the understatement of the interview.
Erin: Let me speak for the lesbian population for a moment here, I've seen lesbians get jealous over a soda, so I'm going to assume two porn stars together in a relationship would be World War III.
Last, but certainly not least, if you weren't an adult film star what do you think you'd be doing?
Kayden: I’d probably be applying to some PHD program as a last ditch effort to remain swaddled in the safety of school and out of the clutches of the real world. Luckily porn has provided me that.
These days with the shape of the economy and the job pool it seems staying in college is actually the safest place to be. However, I think in this circumstance Kayden is pretty perfect right where she is, at the top of the porn industry taking on all the narrow minded people who assume that the only thing separating her two ears is air and the faint echo of materialism and narcissism. I may not be the Porn Whisperer and my world may not yet be Pornocopia, but in the meantime I'm enjoying the great funny, witty, sexy and intelligent women I get to meet and learn about through my writing adventures.