A 'sideways' review of the latest goings-on in Emmerdale, the popular British Soap Opera.
For episodes broadcast in the UK 18th-22nd June 2012
*Warning: May Contain Spoilers*
Robbie charms someone else; Gennie's not very charmed with Nikhil, and Cain calls Chas a slag: charming.
The Bartons are selling up, hooray! The Bartons are staying … boo.
Just when I thought they'd be off they decided to stay. I've liked them; there's been some great storylines and some good acting, but Adam's starting to do my head in now. He's very easy on the eye but behaves like a two-year-old, and all this supermarket stuff is very boring. I've lost interest in the family now and reckon it'll need one hell of a storyline to change my mind I'm afraid.
Robbie's burrowing his way into the family
Someone who's not easy on my eye is Robbie the rodent. I said he'd move in and he did. I said he'd start working for them, and he has. Declan took him to meet a promoter, but Megan didn't want to go.
"I don't blame you, you know. I'd steer well clear too," Nicola added her two'penneth. "Don't think I could ever feel mumsy towards that," she added with her usual tact and diplomacy!
I'm with you Nico, but Robbie seemed to manage to hoodwink someone else. "For some reason, the guy loved him," Declan told Megan on their return. God knows why – unless the guy had been trying to match him beer-for-beer and lost his senses in an alcoholic haze, because (apart from chasing women), drinking beer seems to be Robbie's only 'talent'.
When he wasn't in the pub drinking and flirting with Pointless Priya this week, she turned her attentions to Cameron. You're a bit late there, love.
Confused? You will be
Ooh, this is getting messy now, isn't it? Gennie's found out and she's all hormonal so anything could happen. "Confused? You will be,"* Chas said to Debbie. I don't know about confused: I'd be terrified.
Cain's got the bit between his teeth on this one. No matter how many declarations of love Cameron makes towards Debbie, Cain doesn't believe a word of it. "When we do find something, I'll kill him – and the slag I catch him with," he told Chas menacingly. Gulp!
Oh God. When he finds out it's HER he'll completely flip. Cameron doesn't seem that bothered. It's nice to see someone standing up to Cain and refusing to be intimidated by him, but Cameron's in more danger than he realises if he thinks he can handle him.
He seems more scared of Gennie, because Gennie actually knows something. They tried to excuse it, but Chas was forced to admit she loved him, and was lucky to persuade her that it would be worse for Debbie to find out now rather than later, because of the baby.
Nikhil gets it wrong … again!
And speaking of babies … I thought Gennie was going to tell Nikhil, but he went and put his foot in it again, didn't he? Suggesting that being fat was making her crabby and that going on a no-carb diet would help her burn more calories was NOT what she needed to hear!
I love Nikhil. He's so handsome and so hopless when it comes to affairs of the heart, but I know he's going to be a brilliant father once it's all sorted. Why does he wear those funny shirts though? I've never seen anyone else with collars like that except Harry Hill.
At least they got their dinner. Marlon was the one standing around with plates of food in his hand this week.
"She's got a problem with my sense of humour Chas," he whined as he and Pointless Priya had a spat.
"You know what I have a problem with is customers getting served cold food," she snapped. Hear, hear. It's about time someone said something about that.
She also suggested that the pair of them 'get a room'. What? No way. That could – and should – NEVER happen. Marlon needs to be with Laurel. The moment she flinched when Ashley tried to put his arms out to her had to be the final nail in the coffin for their marriage. She's scared of him. There's no going back from that, surely?
Match made in heaven, or prison?
Speaking of marriage: David, what are you playing at? Eric's right to try and stop him. David never thought Leyla would do the dirty on him but she did. People do bad things sometimes. Who's to say Alicia won't go to prison; meet a nice girl then come back and take him for half of the little he's got left and set up home with her girlfriend?
Before you mock … stranger things have happened. This is a Soap, after all, and look at how Ali's started thinking that Ruby's getting too close to Laurel. Wow. I wish I had a bit of whatever it is that Laurel's got. Half the village seems to be after her!
Why Alicia doesn't come right out and tell him is beyond me though. She's not normally backwards at coming forwards is she, and as for David: don't ever think about becoming a detective will you? You haven't even spotted that she's actually turning into a snail!
He was having a bit of trouble getting his wine to his mouth too, and gets a Bad Drinking From a Wine Glass Award for twice putting the glass to his lips then taking it away without even tilting it up far enough to take a swig!
Not many Grins of the Week again. The one-liners a bit lacking at the moment, unfortunately.
Dan: "Want some company?"
Ali: "Not if it's yours."
David: "Me and Alicia have just decided to get married."
Amy: "Oh, right. Because you work together in a shop?"
* Is that an 'I fancy you' look you're giving Moira there, Alex?
* Pointless Priya broke a nail. Really; what is the point in her existence?
* Funny how it's ok for girls to slap men but not the other way around. It was Rhona at it this week, slapping Paddy several times hard on his arm and head (with a magazine, granted)!
* 'Confused? You won't be.' For those of you too young to remember, this was ALMOST the strapline from the 1980s US Soap spoof called … yes, Soap. It was a great show, but the catchphrase changed over the years and 'Confused? You will be' is now a common and well-used term!