A 'sideways' review of the latest goings-on in Emmerdale, the popular British Soap Opera.
For episodes broadcast in the UK 11th-15th June 2012
*Warning: May Contain Spoilers*
Blink and you'd have missed it this week, although I wouldn't miss Robbie if he took that trip of a lifetime – as long as it actually lasted a lifetime.
Only an hour this week, but unfortunately it was an hour that contained Robbie, although I've suddenly got my suspicions that there's more to him than meets the eye (which wasn't a lot to start with, in my book).
He turned Megan's cheque down, and when she said she'd like him to stay for a while I thought he seemed quite pleased. It made me think that I'd better start being a bit more charitable towards him and just 'get over' the fact that he gives me the creeps, but then I saw him pull (what LOOKED to be), a rather villainous face:
Now. Was that just a guy thinking, "Oh, mummy. I'm so happy you want to get to know me after all this time," or was it a guy thinking, "Silly old bat. She's playing right into my hands"?
I'm going to stick my neck out and say that he's actually realised he can get a lot more out of the Maceys than a mere trip round the world, and will set out to do just that – while attempting to bed both Pointless Priya and Katie at the same time … well, not at the same time: Soaps haven't quite gone down that road – yet!
Ideal scenario? He and Pointless Priya manage to filch a load of cash off their respective families and are last seen jumping into a cab (with their empty suitcases), en route to Hotten International Airport. (PS Could they take the Bartons with them too, please?)
Oh, I can but dream …
Chas's dreamy weekend with Cameron turned into a nightmare when he told her that his son (who he was supposedly meant to be with), had spoken to Cain on the phone. (Did you see that white telephone? In a garage? There wasn't a single oily fingerprint on it. That's well impressive!)
That last scene of theirs did make me laugh though, as their worried faces looked like something straight out of Acorn Antiques. I SO wanted to see their faces two seconds later – when the Director had yelled 'Cut'!
What a rotten end to their romantic little tryst. Would YOU want to be heading back to the village knowing that Cain was there waiting for you? No, nor me. Charity didn't want to believe it, but as Cain pointed out to her: Cameron was 'at it' with Debbie when he was married, so he's definitely 'got form'.
They make a great couple though, and you know I'm rooting for them to get married and run the Woolpack together. They'll need a bit of help 'from above' when Cain gets hold of them, but they won't be able to get it from Ashley. He's far too busy dishing-out plates of food to offer crumbs of comfort.
Ashley might look all 'butter wouldn't melt', but did you hear how he spoke to that poor homeless man when he was giving him his dinner?
"D'you WANT gravy?" he asked him rudely (without even a drop of the milk of human kindness). He made that one question sound as if he was saying: 'I suppose you want gravy on it too – as if you haven't already got enough on your plate. What do you think this is: a Charity?', and another one who needs to brush up on his people skills is Cain.
"You wanna keep that dog on a lead. I'll wrap a spanner round its head in a minute, the stupid animal," he yelled to Marlon when Daisy the dalmation ran up to him.
That's the thing about Cain," Marlon mused. "He's a people person. No, hang on a minute … a sociopath. I always get them two mixed up."
Well, no Grins of the Week etc for you this week, so that's about all I've got to say, although I couldn't help but laugh at the sight of Chas outside the hotel room. The way she was hitching her boobs up would have done Dick Emery himself proud!