Welcome to a review of the most recent episodes of Coronation Street, the popular British Soap Opera.
For eps broadcast in the UK 30th April-4thMay 2012
*Warning: May Contain Spoilesr*
Poor Julie never WAS pregnant; Curse-ty looks to have 'lost' her baby; Mary's babysitting, and Kevin's looking for more than just a babysitter for Jack.
Hopefully Curse-ty's moved a bit nearer to getting that 'Best Departing Actress' Award this week, as she showed her true colours and ladled-out more than just harsh words and evil looks to poor little Tyrone.
The worst part about domestic violence is having to witness the perpetrator's apologies and repentence afterwards, and how frustrating was it to see Tyrone pretty-much forgiving her? It's a pity his face wasn't as tough as his hands though, as he grabbed hold of that red-hot mug of tea without even flinching …
Anyway. She's clearly one wheel short of a Police Car: coming out with statements like, "When you've interviewed as many crooks as I have." Yes, love; 'course you have.
Curse-ty's a WPC, not Inspector Morse, and I've struggled to believe she'd have been allowed to get away with some of her unorthodox policing methods (which seem to have involved going round behaving like a hooligan, but in a Policewoman's uniform), for so long, but that whole scene in the Council Offices was just a joke.
Luckily, the joke was on her, and she's FINALLY been suspended. Curse-ty might think she's the next Cagney and Lacey (all by herself), but she wasn't clever enough to spot her missing pregnancy bump, was she?
That girl's no more pregnant than I am; indeed, I look more pregnant than she does. I assume the baby's actually real? I wouldn't put anything past that scheming witch. She had Wild and Free on her T-shirt on Monday. She's wild alright, but hopefully won't be free for much longer …
Life can be so cruel sometimes, as poor, poor Julie turned out not to be pregnant. It was a big shock, and an even bigger shock to hear they'd taken her ovaries out. I don't think any of us were expecting that.
It was so sad, as I'd SO been looking forward to those two having a baby. It would have been hilarious, but Julie would have made a wonderful mother too.
Maybe she still will? Maybe there's an adoption coming up? They won't be getting a dog though; we know that, as "Dogs make me wheeze," Brian told her. They're a brilliant pair and it's been marvellous (and hearbreaking), acting from both of them this week, but hey … hang on a minute … if they're after a baby, Kevin's got one he's trying to get rid of.
Yes. Kevin all-but gave Jack away to Pam and Bill this week in an attempt to find a way to be with Sally. I still reckon Jack'll get sick and that Sally will suddenly go all mumsy over him though. We'll see.
If Brian and Julie were to adopt, they might get a 'lovely' daughter like Fay(te worse than death), who's always moaning, and was moaning this week because Anna's had to get a second job to make ends meet and has had to get Mary to look after her.
"I want you on your best behaviour," Anna told her firmly.
"I can't do that; she might come again," Faye replied!
I thoroughly approve of Mary's babysitting techniques: having Faye polishing shoes and doing chores. I'll bet there's a lot of parents who'd pay good money for a babysitter like her!
Faye seemed to be enjoying Mary reading to her too. It looked as if she was, and I hope it continues, as anything which stops her being such a brat can only be good news!
Tina's really getting into her stride as a bossy girlfriend, and who can blame her, as Tommy's eyes are 'wide shut' when it comes to his wayward dad. I was surprised to hear Terry still being threatened by the thugs on the phone on Friday night though, as I'd been convinced it had all been a set-up, just to get Tommy's cash.
When Terry had hugged Tommy after they'd been shoved up-against the wall by those two heavies, he'd looked to give a little half-smile, and I'd expected the next scene to show the guys coming back in; giving Terry the cash back, and him bunging them a few quid each before disappearing to leave Tommy to face the music.
That wasn't the case though, and it seems that there's a bit more to come from this storyline, so I just hope they've changed the sheets on Audrey's and Julie's beds in that hospital, because there's going to be someone else being rushed in there next week!
Ah, wasn't it nice to see Audrey back, looking all smiling and happy? Maybe Gail's been giving her a talking-to (like she did with her plants this week). Thank goodness that storyline's over. It had a few good one-liners, but that's about it!
Norris has been at his belligerent best this week, but was no match for Stella when he complained to her about finding lipstick on his glass (and was hoping for a drink on the house).
"Please accept this with my apologies," she smiled through gritted teeth as she poured him a replacement.
" … And those three little words?" he prompted her.
"I love you?" she teased!
There's been some beautifully delivered funny lines, but not that many one-liners for our Grins of the Week unfortunately:
Terry: "A disappointed woman. It's the worst sight in the world."
Tina: "You'd know." (Brilliant!)
Norris: "You can't be too careful with a Platt."
Tommy: "We're behind schedule."
Tina: "This is a crummy strip club, not the Olympics."
Norris (about Gail): "New-Age ninny."
PS "I'm not 100% sure that's the correct use of an apostrophe," Brian mused to Marcus. He's right. It should have read Relatives' Room. Ooh, don't get me started on bad grammar. Too late. Even TV subtitles are littered with incorrect uses of grammar. How can people be PAID A SALARY to write subtitles, yet not even have a proper grasp of English?
PS2 Dev's taking Aadi on a golfing tournament, so Sunita excitedly told Karl that she'd have the house to herself. Er, what about Asha?
PS3 Sunita. There's a word for women who hang around on street corners, love!
PS4 Gary bought six take away teas from Roy's. Builders drink tea like Carla drinks red wine. Surely they'd have a kettle on site, or they'd soon end up spending more than they earn!
PS5 When they got to the bus stop, Brian sat right down while Julie stood up. Didn't your mother teach you 'ladies first' man, and why didn't they go in the car, like they did on Monday?
PS6 Inspector Clueless Curse-ty got all over-excited about the Councillor having an 05 plate C Class Mercedes. So what? Hasn't anyone told her that Councillors are very well paid, and it's not unreasonable to imagine he'd have had a Merc? It wasn't even a new one. If he'd had a brand new Ferrari sat in his reserved parking space it might have been a different matter!