Lust is in the air; someone takes to the air, and someone's feelings are left up in the air, but whose?
Welcome to a review of the most recent episodes of Emmerdale, the popular British soap opera.
For episodes broadcast in the UK 2nd - 6th April 2012
*Warning: May Contain Spoilers*
Those defective detectives were at it again this week. "I might be getting thick in my old age," the female one said (Ooh, she's a poor actress).
Getting? As you were all set to charge Cain for setting the fire at the Garage while he was inside (having locked himself in – from the outside – first), I'd say you'd been there a while already, and – while I'm on a roll – what had she come as? All she needed was a bonnet and she'd have fitted right in on Downton Abbey.
"They're not going to follow me to France for one little fire, mate," Aaron tried to reassure Adam.
It wouldn't have taken a rocket scientist to work out that he was going with Ed, but – lucky for him – this pair weren't even bright enough to walk round to the back of the pub to try to catch him as he made his escape, so I doubt they'll manage to figure it out!
They must have had something wrong with their legs too, as from the time Victoria announced that they'd pulled up outside to them actually appearing inside the pub, Aaron not only had time to say his goodbyes, but could have got David to organise him a lovely little going-away party too.
The way they all lied to Chas was horrible though, and I don't know how she'd be able to keep quiet – or ever be able to bring herself to speak to any of them again. The only happy moment was when Aaron finally (after four years of making her life a misery), told his mum he loved her, but it would have been so much nicer if he'd left legitimately (and happily), rather than even Ed not knowing until the last second as to whether he was going to turn up at the Airport or not.
It would have been an even more credible departure if he and Adam had gone off together. I'd always held out a hope for those two, and it would have been a perfect solution for the pair of them to have decided they were more than Just Good Friends and just 'driven off into the sunset'.
From what I've read, it seems that a lot of people weren't very happy with Aaron's exit storyline (saying it wasn't credible), and I agree.
It's a bit hard to believe that virtually the whole village now knows who it was, yet nobody's saying anything – least of all Chas. Besides, I've gone right off Adam now for not having been man-enough to own up, so (to me), it would have been a lot better if he'd left too.
Chas is devastated, and there's only one person who she feels she can trust right now, and that's the lovely Cameron. I'm SO glad these two are going to be 'getting in on' again, as they make such a great couple, and – sorry Debs – I want to see them both behind the bar at the Woolie (with Diane, still, of course!).
I'd thought Diane was going to be the one Eric would turn to after Val, but it's actually Brenda, and they've been like a pair of frisky little bunnies this week. It's clearly distracting Eric from his duties as 'mine host' though (again), and if I was one of his customers I'd have jolly-well had something to say.
He leaned right in front of a customer and he and Brenda had a little spat while she was holding their plates of food in front of them – and they just SAT THERE without complaint. Ah, we Brits: always so keen not to make a fuss, and what about the lady who'd apparently been stealing marmalade? He just plonked a huge jar of it down in front of her with a self-satisfied sneer on his face.
I know it's 'pretend', but they're meant to be real customers, so Eric, I've told you before: could you just give them the food before you have a row/chat; maybe say 'Enjoy', or – at the very least – just make eye contact or smile at them, aye?
Their 'coupling' gave us two great lines though. Eric told David: "I thought she was prim and proper, but she's certainly far from that!"
"Please stop talking," he begged, and Brenda confessed breathlessly to Gennie in the cafe: "And I hadn't shaved my legs or anything."
"Nooooh," she squirmed desperately in embarrassment. Great stuff!
Brenda's got her man (for now), but Rachel and Alicia are both after David. There was some great banter between the three of them, and poor old David got himself in trouble after Alicia had complained to him about Carl eyeing-up her 'melons'.
"Oh come on. You must know you wear tops that are quite … breasty," he tried to point out delicately.
"Breasty? Are you saying that I'm a slapper David?"
She clearly thought about it though, and asked him later, "Do you really think I dress … well, not 'proper' tarty like Chas, but … you know … breasty?" to which he did the most sensible thing a man could do in that situation: he legged it!
Some great banter, but not many one-liners for Grins of the Week unfortunately:
Rachel: "Are you calling me a minger?"
Alicia: "Don't you ever look in a mirror?"
Chas (to Carl, about Alicia): "Why don't you shut up and go back to trying to look down her top?"
Female Defective (to Cain): "Bit of a habit you've got into: not seeing your attacker. Must have all trained at the same Ninja school."
Vic (to Aaron): "Aah. You always look fit when you're off to Court."
PS I thought Debbie and Cameron had gone to clean the Garage up. What with? Their faces?
PS2 Who cooked and served breakfast at the B&B when Amy went back to the house to change her top?
PS3 Aah. Aaron called Paddy 'dad' too. How sweet was that?
PS4 Hannah's going to study Zoology? Where's that one come from; they've only got one chicken up at Barton's Farm. I've never even heard her make any mention of animals – apart from asking Adam, 'Have you packed the burgers for the Supermarket?' once!
PS5 Got to say a word about Belle. I've mentioned before that she's grown up a lot this last year, but I did a double-take when I saw her on Thursday, as she looks to have literally turned into a proper 'young woman' since last week! Maybe it was the bit of makeup she had on, but I guess it's more likely she's just had a bit of a growth spurt, and how lovely did she look? Aah, bless.