Irish comedian Dave Allen once told a joke at the expense of his wife. Probably more than once, by this one goes something like this:
My wife bought me two ties for my birthday/Christmas, so I came down for dinner wearing one of them. She looked at me, frowned and said: “What's wrong with the other one?”
Allen was of course neither the first man nor will he be the last to imply that no man will ever understand women. A jury at Inner London Crown Court may have had a similar problem with Laura Johnson. Johnson is said to be a millionaire's daughter. True, inflation has somewhat devalued the term since Benjamin Disraeli used it in his 1826 novel Vivian Grey
, but anyone who has seen her family home on TV will realise this young lady was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Today, she was convicted of burglary
after chauffering rioters around South London.
Johnson claimed to have been acting under duress; she is said to have attempted to kill herself
no less than six times.
According to the BBC lunchtime news, she was warned by the judge that when she is sentenced next month, prison is one possibility. Why not the only one? Are we really expected to feel sorry for this poor little rich girl? There are plenty of hard luck stories connected with the riots, young kids from poor backgrounds, black and white who have received no mercy either from the courts or from the Court of Appeal. What is Laura's excuse?
Now to a young woman who seems determined to sentence herself to if not time behind bars then a good pasting. To paraphrase a well known expression: What's a nice girl like Rihanna doing with a creep like Chris Brown? In case you don't think this girl deserves better, take a gander at this
. And in case you've forgotten what Brown did to her three years ago, here is his handiwork
on the cover of TMZ
It has been suggested that her reunion with Brown is some sort of publicity stunt, although her management don't appear
to share that view. Okay, she is old enough, rich enough, and apparently dumb enough to choose her own friends and lovers, but what sort of message is she sending to less fortunate women than herself? Brown can find himself some crack hoe or bitch to flex his muscles on, and if she can't find any better than him, she should put her love life on hold and make another film.